28 Jan First-Gen Voices Interview Transcript: Bailey

Interviewer: Lux Darkbloom
Interview Subject: Bailey 

Lux: So, my name is Lux Darkbloom, and could you please introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your background? This could be any information that you’d like to share, like if you have siblings, where you were born, where you grew up, stuff like that.

Bailey: Yeah, my name’s Bailey. Let’s see, my background. I was born in Sandy, Utah. Grew up here until I was about 10, and then moved out to Las Vegas with my mom. And ultimately, my parents struggled with addiction issues, so I ended up emancipating myself and moving out to California with my aunt and uncle, which is where I finished high school. Yeah, and then I didn’t really know what I wanted to do after high school. I thought about emergency medicine as something I’d be interested in, but I couldn’t really afford the schooling, and I ended up joining the Army, active duty Army, as a combat medic.

Lux: Wow, that’s incredible.

Bailey: Yeah, I did that for about seven years. Yeah, and then I got out of the Army and kind of was struggling with my mental health, and ultimately got some help through the VA and became aware of some of my education benefits. Let’s see…so hobbies, I just love being outdoors, anything outdoors, skiing, whitewater rafting, stuff like that. And I have one older brother who also lives here in Utah.

Lux: Great. So, getting right into the thick of the conversation here, starting with a big question, what motivated you to pursue higher ed?

Bailey: Yeah, so I guess in that time period, once I got out of the Army, again, I struggled with my mental health and that transition was pretty difficult for me. Once I got help at the Salt Lake City VA for that, I discovered recreational therapy. I had a lot of really amazing professionals showing up, mental health professionals showing up for me during that time, but it was really the recreational therapy that gave me this lived experience and helped me in so many ways. And I kind of, I realized that if I, you know, if I stayed healthy, I could use my military benefits to go back to school and become a recreational therapist, which requires a bachelor’s degree. So yeah, that kind of, that motivated me.

Lux: Lots of huge motivations there. Could you talk a little bit about recreational therapy for any listeners who might not know what that means?

Bailey: Yes. Recreational therapy is essentially using purposeful leisure and recreational activities to promote therapeutic outcomes. And that could look like, you know, whether that’s in the physical domain, mental health, emotional, social, even spiritual. And yeah, so, for me, in, I was in a PTSD recovery process and that looked like, you know, just utilizing recreation to help with like, you know, self-efficacy, some emotional stuff, building confidence, socializing, and just, you know, it’s really the quality of life. It’s kind of like quality of life business. Yeah.

Lux: That has to be very grounding to using all your five senses and really putting you in your body. That just sounds really fascinating.

Bailey: Absolutely.

Lux: So moving on, though…I could talk to you about that for the rest of the interview, but moving on…I’m interested in if you had any specific role models or folks who encouraged you either before you got into higher ed or now that you’re here.

Bailey: Yeah, I would, I would definitely root that back to the recreational therapist at the VA. This, this man called…his name is Dr. K and he was just so, you know, there was just so much support there. And he had kind of seen me on my, on my recovery journey, and yeah, I just, I wanted the opportunity to do what he was doing. And then, you know, once I got into my department, there was just so, so much support. It’s a small…it’s kind of a small department. I didn’t really know if I could do it at first. And so, yeah, I think I was inspired by the rec therapist at the VA and then, and then found a lot more support once I actually got to the U.

Lux: That is great. I’m so happy to hear that. It’s so important. And I think a lot of folks don’t realize just how much impact they have on others and inspiring them to do stuff, like pursue higher ed. So are you currently in school right now?

Bailey: Yeah, so I’m actually in my senior year. So I finished all of my core classes and I am gearing up to start my internship here in September. And then once I have that finished, I’ll be done with my bachelor’s degree in recreational therapy. And with a lot of encouragement from my professors, I applied for grad school. So that is the next step after my internship.

Lux: Wow! Congratulations! That’s so exciting. So are you…as you’re in school right now, looking toward the internship that you’ve got coming in September, are you also working in addition or in the past, was that part of your day-to-day college experience?

Bailey: Yeah, so at first, at first I just started slow. You know, my mental health had to come first or else none of this would get done. So I really started slow, which is part-time school at first. And then once I got into the groove, full-time school, but I found…I did find a campus job teaching pickleball that I absolutely loved doing last semester. And then I got connected with, there’s a ropes course at the Huntsman Mental Health Institute. And there’s a lot of really amazing recreational therapists that work there. So I’ll do…I’ve been working summers and doing part-time school over the summer. So part-time work, part-time school. Yeah, working the ropes course at the community courses and then a camp for autistic kids, which is just, yeah, really amazing.

Lux: That is incredible. You are doing so many cool things right now. Could you talk a little bit–going way back to the beginning of your bachelor’s degree–what was it like for you your first semester, your first year on campus?

Bailey: Oh my gosh. Yeah, that, you know, I’ve done a lot of really, really hard things in my life up until then. Like, you know, I’m…obviously I’m an older, a nontraditional student. I just turned 40 this last summer. But my first semester was pretty intimidating. There’s a lot of people, a lot of people I didn’t know. The really great thing for me was I’d gotten connected with the Veterans Center. And at the time, there was also the Women’s Center was right there. I think it’s now, like, Center for Student, maybe Student Access or something like that. But and so, you know, a new kid on campus, I don’t know where I’m going. I would go to the Vet Center, the Women’s Center, and then I would find my next class and I go there and then I come right back. And that kind of went on for the first couple of weeks until I got the feel for, you know, the lay of the land and things like that. And then that first semester was kind of like, you know, I just tried to stay curious and just kind of observing. I do remember my first class, I took, you know…I had my note, my actual notebook and pencil, and I’m taking notes and I’m looking around and seeing everybody has tablets and, you know, and pens that they’re writing on their tablets. So I realized maybe there was a learning curve with the technology for me. And so I just, again, stayed curious and kind of like asked. I started to ask people like, “What are you using? What are you, you know, what’s that?” And I found out about Notability and these apps that could probably make my life a lot easier. So, yeah, the first semester was interesting. It was kind of just a, you know…I was glad I had that touch point. I also know they do have a first-gen center, too, which I found out. Yeah, you know, so and then just ended up, you know, figuring out what was going to work for me and exploring some new technologies.

Lux: That’s so cool. And I love that you’re open to it and curious. And I know that the label “non-traditional” is, like, very…I think it’s a pretty outdated term for students. Like, I mean, what even is a traditional student, really, right? But, yeah, I think that is so interesting that you just took kind of a perspective of like, “I’m going to observe and try to absorb stuff and ask questions.” And you mentioned there was a first-gen center. Could you talk a little bit about that?

Bailey: Yeah, so I kind of discovered that towards the last couple of semesters of my, you know, of my school. Yeah, it was just a really beautiful resource. Like, you know, you walk into the office and there’s some people studying and doing work there. I got connected with a fraternity called Tri Alpha, which is for first-gens as well. But they just had a wealth of information. And like, obviously, I’ve got other, you know, identities like with as a veteran and stuff like that. So I had that other space. But I definitely think that just having a space…It feels really inclusive for, you know, that part of your identity is super important or at least it was for me.

Lux: Yeah, absolutely. And you’re navigating higher ed with not just a single identity, this…layers of identity where it can be a little challenging to find community on a campus as large as ours.

So I’m so glad to hear that you did and you connected with these different resources and spaces. Let’s see. Do you think that being first-gen status had an impact on your career path? I know that a lot of this you mentioned goes back to caring for your mental health and how vital that is.

Bailey: Yeah. So I think…as far as my career path goes, that, you know, that really stems out of a desire to help others who have had, you know, adversity in their lives and stuff like that. And again, like my family has a long history of addiction and poverty and things like that. And so that’s kind of where I feel like the first my like first gen status comes in is kind of breaking barriers.

Lux: Yeah, and there are a lot of…I think, for so many college students, there are so many unexpected barriers that you just don’t know till you arrive, right? So it can be very challenging. Do you believe or feel that being first-gen impacted your ability to pay tuition or to acquire financial aid? You mentioned that you’ve been working throughout your degree. So, yeah.

Bailey: So I because of my military, you know, the benefits I earned being active duty military, a lot of my I’m using my education benefits through that. But I actually found that there was quite a few scholarships that were available to first-gen students. And then, you know, yeah, I personally didn’t experience that difficulty, other than it took me a while to get here. I didn’t have the opportunity financially to go to school, like, right out of high school or until this time in my life.

Lux: Yeah, I think that’s such a common experience, too. Because there’s I mean, there’s also no one right way to do it, or one trajectory, you know. When we get there, it’s the right time. How about your academic success? Do you feel like…there’s always a lot of talk in academia about this, you know, “invisible curriculum” that first-gen students might encounter? So I was wondering what your experience was like with that.

Bailey: And honestly, I’ve never heard of the invisible curriculum. For me, I think that the tricky part was that the rest of my family doesn’t really understand what it takes to, you know, the workload, the stress. Again, I’ve done a lot of really stressful things, and academics were its own special brand of stress. And so and, you know, and so I had a lot of my family members who were like, “Oh, shouldn’t you be doing like, you know, something else? Like you’re at this age, like, you know, finding a husband?” I have a son. He’s a teenager, but…actually, in that respect was really helpful because he’s in high school and, you know, looking at colleges and me being able to relate to him on the stressors of being in school and things like that was actually really helpful. But just that I did feel somewhat misunderstood from my family in a lot of ways on why I want to do this and what it takes. That was my experience.

Lux: Yeah, that’s a lot of pressure, too, being asked, “Why do you want to do this?” You know, when maybe family pressures could put you in a different direction, right? Like, like you mentioned. But yeah, does it seem like I mean, what a great benefit that you can relate to your son, like with these similar stressors? Does he go to you for guidance or ask questions about the application process or anything?

Bailey: Yeah, absolutely. And that’s kind of where we’re at right now. And, you know, him looking at at colleges and things like that or even considering it. And then, you know, it’s just really. Yeah, it was just really helpful to be able to relate to him, you know, be like, “Yep, I understand this is what I have to do.” And yeah, it was very helpful.

Lux: And a lot of the processes have totally evolved over the years, too. So being current with that information, that’s got to be a huge benefit, honestly. How is he feeling about the process so far?

Bailey: Um, so he’s kind of on the fence. He’s applying to colleges, but…he part of him, he really wants to…he’s been doing welding this entire time during high school. So part of him is like, “Oh, I don’t know if I actually want to go to college right now,” which is, you know, which I can also relate to. And the fact that it’s never too late, you know, if that’s something that he wants to do. But just making sure he’s got everything squared away so that he has options. And then just being really supportive. That’s also a beautiful thing that came out of this is like me being able to just be supportive of his unique skills and abilities and desires instead of really pushing or forcing anything like that I personally want on him. And I think that’s helpful in our relationship.

Lux: That’s so, so helpful. I have a teen myself, so, yeah, I can relate for sure. So…speaking about, you know, the importance of maintaining your mental health, do you feel that your experience as a first-gen student had an impact on your social and emotional well being at the U?

Bailey: Other than, you know…I just felt really supported by everyone there. And I don’t know that it definitely didn’t impact it negatively. I really got really involved with clubs and things like that. And yeah…I’m not sure that it had that much of an impact on my social and emotional well being. Also, because I was really connected with my cohort of students was really a small cohort. And I think it gave me a unique perspective in my, in my department, and the work that I was doing. Yeah.

Lux: Absolutely. Yeah. So, at the university, we talk a lot as faculty about the importance of students feeling a sense of belonging there, because it can have a really significant impact on a student’s academic success. It sounds like you really found some community at the U, do you feel like you’ve got a good sense of belonging there.

Bailey: Yeah, absolutely. And you know, I think that that’s also a product of my recovery process, like, and where I was at because I’ve been in places where there should have been…you know, I was in the military and, you know, doing things that I should have felt really connected. And I never really did. And so, it was intentional that when I, when I got here, I wanted to, you know, connect and explore I was ready to do all that. And I was provided with a wealth of opportunities to do that at the U. You know, and so my experience I, like, sincerely had the you know, that college experience where I, you know, was able to dabble in different things and connect with people and feel like there’s, you know, always a lot to do. I absolutely feel like I belong at the U.

Lux: I’m so glad. That is so beautiful to hear. For students who, say, they’re more introverted or kind of intimidated by that whole experience, what kind of guidance would you have for connecting or learning about exploring different disciplines?

Bailey: Yeah, think that. I would go to the Union and, you know. You kind of do have to put yourself out there a little bit. I learned, I learned how to connect on social media with events and people and things like that. I didn’t even have that skill before I got there. And I think it does take courage to just kind of be open and willing to look around. But it felt like there was just a wealth of like…if you had, you know, something you were interested in and there’s a group of people doing that, you know, find what you like and connect with people on that, with that first and then see where it leads.

Lux: That is such good advice because, like, I know that there is a lot of talk, honestly in, you know, among faculty and the administration about the speed at which students complete their degrees, and a lot of folks believe that four years, that’s the goal. But I think, you know, that’s really not realistic for a lot of folks, and we don’t really get understanding, except from our peers about that, you know, or some sympathetic faculty who can remember what it’s like to be a student, even. Did you feel any pressure from any side really about the, I guess, the rate or speed that you were doing your degree program, even if it was self-imposed pressure?

Bailey: Yeah. So I came in knowing that I would need to take it a little slower. And my mental health and my sobriety had to come first or else none of this…I can’t accomplish any of this. So I did have to prioritize those over, you know, any particular speed so I did take it slower. I went part-time, and then I was taking summer classes as well. And just seeing how I felt and over…you know, once I kind of got into the groove. But again, I’m actually…so, like, most people did their internships over the summer, and I’m doing mine in the fall. And it was as simple as just communicating with my academic advisor and letting her know what my needs were. And hey, how can we make this work. Yeah, so I kind of knew that. And although I can be ambitious, that’s not like the wisest choice for me. And so, I was just willing to take it at my own pace and, you know, at this point in my life it’s like “Okay, you know, I know better than to like try to put myself into a little box of like expectations of what everybody else is doing,” but what the cool thing about that is that I…there was tons of support for that, you know, my academic advisor was just. And the advisors at the…career counseling advisors were really great, too. It’s like, you know…you have to take what time you need. And again, grad school was never on my…I didn’t even know if I could do this, you know–finish a bachelor’s degree. So grad school was never even on my radar until just professors who had, you know, seen me started just planting little seeds. And I’m taking that at a different pace so I’ll be starting that in spring instead of fall with it, you know, so I feel like, you know, my advice on that is just, you know, to be really honest with yourself about, you know, what, the capacity, and, and if I’m going to just barrel through and maybe I’m missing out on other opportunities. And so [being] willing, you know, to bring that up and there’s so many options to, you know, to work through that, so…

Lux: Yeah, and like you said, being honest with yourself, and knowing what your threshold is stress-wise, and like staying connected to yourself rather than some kind of agenda that might be a template for a lot of folks but doesn’t…

Bailey: I said I had like…I’ve experienced a lot of different types of stress in my life. Like I, you know, I trained to go to war in the military, and academic stress is its own special brand, you know. And so, yeah, and once I found, you know, once I got into my department with my recreational therapy courses, things really did change for me because it’s like now I’m in the core of…what I love doing. And I’m surrounded by a group of people who are also doing the same thing. And, yeah, and there’s tons of resources. I really loved the mindfulness center and some counseling services that I found really helpful as well.

Lux: Yeah, I was actually just gonna ask you about that. It sounds like you had a really good relationship with your academic advisor. What would you recommend–because a lot of students aren’t quite sure how to engage those kinds of services–what would you recommend being, you know, in conversation with your academic advisor about.

Bailey: Yeah, so, and I’ve talked to other people, too who…like I knew recreational therapy was what I wanted but it’s also…we kind of joke in our profession that it’s a found profession. It’s not something most kids are like, “Oh, I want to grow up and be a recreational therapist,” you know? Most of the time we’re explaining what recreational therapy is to people, but I know people who have, you know…I think just being honest about what you’re looking for, you know…“Hey, this is what I’m interested in, this is what I’m doing. What career path could this fit into?” And be open to exploring, exploring other options, you know.

Lux: Yeah, that is great advice. And on that note, we can kind of wrap up here unless there’s anything else you’d like to talk about. But I am wondering if you have any advice for current first-gen students, or even for, you know, junior high, high school kids who are thinking about their futures and really considering getting into college.

Bailey: Yeah, I think the first thing that comes to mind is it’s never too late. And that’s sincerely like my experience…And so like that’s that self-imposed idea, right? In high school we think, you know, depending upon where you come from, but college can be really pushed on, you know, like, needing to go to four years right after high school. I think it’s okay to explore. And even, you know, once you get, if you do want to go to a four-year university exploring, you know, those first couple years with with taking the classes that you find interesting, but mainly that it’s never too late, and that sometimes, you know, for me, a little more maturity and knowing what direction I wanted to go into, you know? I was really passionate and on fire for what I was learning and doing, and I was more capable of doing that at this stage in my life than I would have been then.

Lux: The right time is the right time, whenever it occurs, right? Yeah, I’m just really glad that I’ve gotten this chance to talk with you and to hear part of your story. It is an honor to be able to have these vulnerable conversations so I really appreciate it, and I think that your story is super inspiring. It’s going to be a real place to aim for students who are potentially getting into higher ed, you know, so yeah, thank you so much for talking with me.

Bailey: Thank you. I appreciate it.