Interviewers: Lux Darkbloom and Jimena Prieto Andrew
Interview Subject: Abditafah Hussein (Abdi)

Abdi: Hi, so my name is Abdifatah Hussein. I am a first-generation, obviously, student at the University of Utah. I’m a refugee student, and so, my family, we’re refugees from Somalia. We came to America when I was fairly young, though, so back in 2004. And ever since, I just grew up in West Valley and Rose Park, and now I’m up here at the U. 

Lux: Do you have siblings? 

Abdi: I do, yes. My mom’s side, five including me. My dad’s side, 13. Yes, it’s a lot of kids, but I don’t live with all 13. I only live with my mom’s side. 

Lux: So, what motivated you to pursue higher education?

Abdi: Okay, so originally, I guess I was just doing that first just because that was just what everyone else was doing. It only seemed right because even back then, I…sorry, let me rephrase the question, so I actually wanted to be an architect. So that’s why I wanted to go to college, get my architecture degree, get my master’s and everything. But then I realized that’s not what I wanted to do, so then I actually didn’t want to pursue a higher education. I was like, I don’t want to do this. I’d rather work on my own things, start my own business, you know, just that line of thinking. But then I kind of realized, and it might–not, not selfish, but I realized my parents have done so much, and the only thing that was going to make them happy is if I just go to school. And so it’s like, it’s only going to be four years of my life, like only four years, and while I’m here, there’s a lot of things I could utilize resource-wise to still make it a really good experience, and still come out with a degree that will help me. And so that’s why I’m here now. I kind of cut the answer short, like this is actually a whole story, but yeah. 

Lux: That’s great. That’s super helpful. So, what is your major then? Have you declared a major? 

Abdi: So, currently I’m pre-business, and what I plan to go into is strategic communications. That’s actually the route I’ve been doing a lot of research in. Originally, it was going to be finance, but then I realized I’m more of a marketing person. And so I was going to go with marketing, with the school of business. But then I realized, and while doing my research that, doing marketing and advertising and brand managing, and all that stuff, with strategic communications in the school of humanities just suited me way better than it did with the business school. So, yeah.

Lux: So, are you a full-time student right now? 

Abdi: I currently am, yeah. 

Lux: And did you have any specific role models or mentors who encouraged you or supported you to pursue higher ed? 

Abdi: I would definitely say my girlfriend’s mom. Yes, she…yeah, it’s a story. But she really helped me get back on track when it came to coming back to college because I was afraid that when I came back, I was going to be super overwhelmed again. Because to me, it was like I missed out on a whole year and a half, right? And so coming back, I wouldn’t know what to do, or where to start, or who to go to. I have First-Gen [Scholars], which like, I get that helped as well. But she was the one who was really connecting me with people and setting up appointments and things like that, yeah. 

Lux: That’s awesome. It’s so important and helpful to have folks who are willing to help you navigate those systems when they’re unfamiliar. What year are you in school? 

Abdi: Almost second year. 

Lux: And you’re full-time, you said? 

Abdi: Uh huh. 

Lux: Do you work full-time or part-time? 

Abdi: I work part-time, but it feels like it’s full-time. 

Lux: Gotcha. That makes sense. 

Abdi: Yeah, currently I have two jobs…and when I tell people that they’re like, “Oh, that’s so much.” It’s really not, to be fair. It’s whatever. 

Lux: It sounds like a lot. What kind of jobs are they? 

Abdi: So I currently work at…for Monday through Friday, I work at SpyHop. 

Lux: Oh, nice! That’s awesome. 

Abdi: Yeah, I love it there. It’s great. And then on the weekends, I work at Chili’s. 

Lux: Seven days a week then. 

Jimena: Yeah! 

Abdi: Almost every day. But so yeah, about every day. But I try to take at least one Saturday off if there’s something going on that Saturday, so I guess six days. 

Lux: How do you manage that work/school/social life balance? Like do you get to rest at all? 

Abdi: Uh-huh. I still get to rest. 

Lux: You do? [laughs] And you have some social life also. You mentioned you have a girlfriend. But how do you strike a balance between all of that? 

Abdi: I would be so honest, like I don’t know. I kind of just go. And I mean, I would say because with school, I’m there from 9:00 to 2:00 every day. And so throughout the times where I do get a little break, that’s when I’ll try to do some work. But then if I don’t get a lot of work done, then I’ll still try to do my work at work when I have downtime. So from 3:00 to 8:00, that’s when I’m at SpyHop. And so there’s always usually some downtime. So I’ll try to whip out some work then. And then Fridays is when I don’t really have classes. I don’t even have First-Gen [Scholars]. So, I come to school still early and just to crank out  homework…I get most of my homework done just on Fridays. 

Lux: Wow. 

Abdi: And I try to get it done before First-Gen [Scholars] or at least before I go into work. So, that way when I get off work, then I have the weekends to just do whatever. And if I still have something to get done, I’m like whatever about it. I don’t really care. I’m very just nonchalant. I just go with the flow. I’m just like…

Lux: Well, you only have so many hours in the day, right? 

Abdi: Yeah. And the funniest thing that you–bouncing off of that–is for some reason I could just, I can never sacrifice my sleep.

Lux: Good! That’s good! I’m glad!

Jimena: That’s amazing. I’m a little jealous. [laughs]

Abdi: Yeah, like sleep or just…I can’t sacrifice my self-care for school or things like that. Like even last night, I told myself, “Okay, I’m gonna stay up. I’m gonna do an all-nighter. I have to do this statistics homework.” I got home, got in my bed, and went to sleep…I can’t do that, but I guess I just told myself, “I need myself for myself.” So I gotta be there mentally, physically, emotionally. Yeah. 

Lux: Yeah. What kind of stuff do you do for self-care in your limited free time? 

Abdi: In my limited free time, I would say I really love just listening to beats on YouTube. Like literally just walking back and forth around the house listening to beats, just freestyling or just making new songs. I would say I love doing that. I love probably taking a step outside, maybe with my cat, but he’ll run away. So, like…just being outside–and this might sound weird, but looking at the sun. And then I try…I’ve been really slacking on it for the past year, but meditating. But at least now, every time I wake up I at least do like five deep breaths, and then I’ll build up on it. And then, yeah, just little random things here and there. 

Lux: Going in a little different direction, can you talk about what it was like during your first semester on campus? 

Abdi: So, yeah. So, first semester back, okay, September…fall of 2021. So, going into it when I first arrived on campus, the best way to describe it was just straight from a movie. Ffor some reason, they are food trucks everywhere. There was music. There are so many people walking around. I think it must have been like everyone…that’s when COVID was becoming less and less of a thing. So just for some reason, it just felt so lively. And I was with my friend Theo, and I was like, “This is crazy. This is college? This is straight out of a movie.” It was just such a vibe, and so I was very social and outgoing, did things for the first half of the semester. But after Fall Break, oh, that’s when everything just went downhill because I just lost motivation. I didn’t want to be in school no more. And the thing is, I never liked school. I always liked it just because of the socializing aspect of it, but after high school I was done. I was like, I can’t do this no more. Yeah, and so the second half of the semester, yeah, I just started slacking on my assignments. I started…it was just…all right, it was just whatever, like, no regrets. I mean, actually, now I do regret that. I do …nevermind. Because my GPA…the classes I looked [unintelligible], I looked at my GPA from that first semester, and I’m just like, “I should have not gotten that GPA. I deserve something way higher.” Because I knew I could have done it, right? So the only regret I would have is just slacking on the classes because that was affecting my GPA now. Like I got it way up, but it could be even higher. But that’s okay. Yeah, my first semester…the first half of it was really fun, really cool, met a lot of people. Second half, I didn’t really care.

Lux: It’s like you reached a threshold. 

Jimena: Yeah.

Lux: Where you’re like, “I have done so much work, and now I just need some ability to rest a little bit.”

Jimena: Yeah, it sounds like you’re burned out. Like you burn yourself out. 

Lux: Absolutely. How do you think that being first-gen has impacted your choice of major or your career path? If it has had an impact. 

Abdi: I guess the biggest one would be going into college for a practical degree, for sure, because, you know, my parents [want me to do] the typical, you know, go to school for engineering, or for architecture, or law, or this and that, right? …I guess it…I would say it has impacted me in a way because a part of me is like, I want to choose a degree that makes me sound good. Because you know obviously my parents, they use their kids as bragging rights, or as competition, like, “Oh, look what my kid is doing,” and this and that, right? And so I guess I never really cared about them using me as, like, “Oh, look at what my kid’s doing.” But I kind of did that on myself. Literally. Okay, so, going into finance? I like understanding how the flow of money works and all that stuff, but I’m not gonna lie and not say a huge motivator was also cause it made me sound good. It made me sound smart and things like that. 

Lux: Oh, I get that so much.

Jimena: Me, too.

Abdi: Until I realized, this is not what I want to do. And so when my advisor brought up communications, I was like, communications? Like, I’m sorry…but that whole stigma around communication majors. I was like, I don’t want to…yeah.

Lux: Let’s talk about that a little bit. What is the perception of communication majors?

Abdi: People who don’t know what they want to do with their life so they just go into communications 

Lux: Wow. Okay.

Abdi: Which, like, I know that sounds pretty rude, but I guess just from all the memes and jokes around it. And plus, like, I guess some of the people who I’ve also met personally, who I asked, “Oh, what are you in communications for?” And they’re just like, “Oh, I don’t know.” I guess that’s just where it comes from, as well, you know, which is fine. I was having this conversation with my brother the other day. I was like–because I’m not gonna lie–I do think there are some useless degrees in college. But if you know what you want to do with the degree then that’s different. Instead of just, “I don’t know what I want to do, but I’m just gonna do this.” Cause I’m going into communications, but I know what I want to do with it, you know? And that’s not to say that I’m better than anyone else, like not at all. But just saying that I humbled myself with communications. Because I knew that that actually is what works for me the most, or at least looking at the certain career paths in the field and stuff, I realized, okay, this is what I actually want to do. And the degree I need for it is either a marketing degree or a strat comm degree, and I’m just, like, okay, yeah, I guess I’ll go into…I haven’t declared it just yet, but very heavily looking at communications right now, yeah. 

Lux: Do you feel like there’s a lot of pressure on students to decide on a major right now and declare one?

Abdi: I feel like, yes–and I feel like it just depends, parents-wise, definitely, cause parents are like, “Why are you in school if you don’t know what you’re gonna do?” But I guess when it comes to maybe like peers, people are super understanding, and they know that, okay, you’re not gonna know it now, but I mean I guess eventually you will.

Lux: Do you feel any pressure from the institution itself on deciding on a career path, picking a major, graduating within a certain number of years, or anything like that?

Abdi: Um, sorry. I have an idea in my head, but I just don’t know how to word it. What do you think, Jimena? 

Jimena: Like…

Abdi: and then I’ll bounce off of you if I have…

Jimena: For me, personally, I think it just really depends on the person. I remember my first year, some advisors were not helpful at all. And they’re like, “Well, this is your only path. This is what you have to do, and if you don’t do this, you won’t go anywhere” type of thing, even though I was very unsure. They were like, “Okay, well, you already said that you were gonna…like, for example I was a biomedical engineer major, but I was really unsure about it. There was no guidance, no nothing, but the advisors and the people that were in that department. They were so pushy, like “If you don’t do this, you won’t be successful. If you don’t do this major, it won’t be good for you.” Just very much like that, where it just feels like, now I’m insecure and I’m unsure, but there’s no support. I don’t know. I just felt like the staff, essentially, that are supposed to help you were very, very pushy, like, “You already said you were gonna do this, so there’s no way out” type of thing.

Abdi: Okay, then. Okay, wow. Okay, yeah, it definitely does depend on who it is then because that’s a completely different experience than what I’ve had. 

Jimena: Yeah. 

Abdi: Yeah.

Lux: So, it’s less pressure exerted from the university/institution itself than, you know, personal influences?

Abdi: I feel like, institution-wise, there definitely could be a push for students to hurry up and do this, and make your resumes, and reach out, and do, you know, all these certain things. But I feel like that can still be influenced by who you choose to surround yourself with. 

Jimena: And that’s one thing that’s really important because once I found other people, different advisors with the majors that I have now, it was a completely different thing. Like they were giving me all these options. There was no pressure to graduate in this specific time frame, so, like Abdi said, it just…it really, really depends.

Lux: Has being first-gen impacted your ability to pay tuition or acquire financial aid?

Abdi: If anything, I feel like it’s helped. Yeah, because, you know, it’s kind of just like, “Oh, I’m this, I’m this, I’m this…” I fall into all these categories now I have more options for I guess…depending on what scholarship it is. Like diversity scholarships and things like that, or, yeah, I would say it has impacted me because I feel like I’ve tapped into certain resources that can definitely help with where I come from and how to pay for college. Like let’s say, well, Refugee Scholars, the First-Gen Scholars, the Opportunity Scholars, just all these different things that have these certain requirements or labels that I fit into.

Lux: Do you think that being first-gen has impacted your academic success? 

Abdi: I guess, yeah. One thing I would say is when it comes to things academically, there’s times where I’ve had to ask my parents. And can I go back to even high school and things like that as well?

Lux & Jimena:  Yeah. Yeah, of course. 

Abdi: Okay, yeah, because, yeah, back then with things like the science fair project or geography contest…and just things like that, I guess your parents–or at least my parents just–and I guess there’s other factors that go into it, like my mom being a single mother and all this stuff. But even when I did come home to get some homework and things like that, there was no tutoring, there was no investment into my education…My mom was kind of just like, “Oh, okay, you have homework? Do it,” or, “You have this project? Do it.” Or just things like that, right, which…I wish she was more involved in…Actually, no, I’m okay if she wasn’t because I completely understand her situation. But as a parent, and if I have a kid, I would love to be involved in helping them with their, like…My school did Reading University, where kids will read books, put it on their list, and get awards and stuff. I would love to be involved in that. I would love to be involved in their spelling bees. I would love to be involved in their science fair projects and really make sure that I’m, like, just much more involved academically, but I get it. I know it was hard for me to get that from my mom, especially since she already has so much on her plate. It was kind of like I just had to do my job and make sure I’m doing good in school, yeah. 

Lux: It sounds like you’re very, very compassionate and understanding about the ways that  your mom was unable to be more involved because of the circumstances of her life at the time, being a single parent, having a lot on her plate. And I think that’s just very emotionally mature of you. Do you think that being first-generation has had an impact on your social or emotional well-being at the U, or has it had an impact on your sense of belonging here?

Abdi: I mean, to be fair, it’s kind of hard to determine who’s first-gen and who’s not. I would say when it comes to maybe other aspects of myself, maybe a sense of belonging might affect that. I mean things might affect my sense of belonging, but being first-gen, like, yeah . . . it’s kind of just…I mean anyone could be first-gen. You just never can assume it. But me, myself, personally, I would say it helped me socially because of, yeah, First-Gen Scholars and meeting other people who are like that because typically, the majority of first-gen people are students of color. And so when I got into that space and start to see all these other types of people, I was like, “Oh my god, finally! There’s this on campus, and [it] turned out a lot of them are mutuals or, like, people that I know who know people and, like…

Jimena:  It’s like a little network.

AH: Like, literally, yeah, like my whole…yes, my whole social experience on campus has grown so much just because of the people who were in First-Gen. It helped me slither my way into that social network, and…so, yeah, it really has helped me make more connections with other departments, and other people, and other cohorts as well. 

Lux: Yeah, so, that First-Gen [Scholars] programming is…would you say it’s critical to helping folks, like, find community as first-gen students?

Abdi: Yeah. Yeah, like literally every person who I bump into, I’m like, “Oh, are you first-gen?” And they’re like, “Yeah.” And I’m just like, “Do you know First-Gen Scholars?” And they’re like, “No.” I was like, “Do you have friends?” They’re like, “No.” I’m like, “Go to First-Gen [Scholars].” Like literally. Yeah, it’s such a great place…yeah, like I think I mentioned before, one of the reasons why I’m also back in school, too, was because I found that community, and I found that support. 

Lux: Yeah, how did you find First-Gen [Scholars]?

Abdi: Who was it? Who was it? I think…I’m not sure if this is super accurate either. I’m not sure if I heard it from a couple people first, and then I heard that there was an event going on there. And so I just went to the event, and I was like, “Oh, wow! This is a space?” I thought was pretty cool, really laid back-looking. And then that’s when I think I spoke to a couple more people, and they told me how, yeah, there’s classes come Thursday or Friday. And I think I started showing up on Thursdays, and then…my second semester of school, I dropped all my classes, but kept First-Gen [Scholars]. And then that’s when I was like, “Okay, wow! This is really fun,” and ever since then, I just stayed in it.

Lux: That’s amazing. So how did you decide when you were dropping classes that First-Gen [Scholars] would be one that would stay?

Abdi: Because I needed to show that I’m at least taking at least one class and not completely dropped out of school. So, I felt like it was smart to keep an elective class to show that I’m still an active student. Yeah, and plus I wanted to be a part of First-Gen [Scholars]. 

Lux: As far as looking to the future, what kind of advice would you offer to other first-gen or potentially first-gen students–like folks who are considering higher ed, but they would be the first in their families?

Abdi: Definitely, always ask. Like my girlfriend’s mom told me this: A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Like once you get into college, there are so many things out there and so many resources and people you can connect with who might know something or can lead to somewhere. You just got to open your mouth and just start talking to people because…me and my brother…he’s older than me so he was going through college before I did. But now he’s graduating. I’m still in school, but we had completely different experiences in school. 

Lux: Oh yeah?

Abdi: Yeah. Now, I’m not gonna lie. He was the oldest sibling, so he did have a little bit more responsibility. But even then, I still tell him like, “You still could have done a lot more” because I was the one who was more social and outgoing and…like even if you’re introverted person, even just connecting with your professors is going to take you a long way. Even just going to, let’s say, one event and seeing who’s there and just connecting on LinkedIn maybe is going to take you a long way. Or maybe things like resources, like this podcast room [in the library] you can use it for personal projects. I just feel like there’s just so many things out there, depending on the college you go to. But I guess, specifically, at the U, I’m learning about new things every day and that’s just because I’m asking. If I’d never asked, I would never know, especially when it comes to money, too…my girlfriend’s mom…she’s, like, the best at it. She knows how to ask for money and get her way around, yeah, because you just got to be persistent, and just be annoying and just ask, ask, ask. Yeah, you just got to. Yeah, but I would definitely…like if I had to, yeah, the advice I would give them is: You don’t got to be a social person. You don’t got to, like, I guess go to all the events and things, but just know that there’s so many things on campus. Things that can help you academically, financially, emotionally. And you just got to ask and get your way around because if you don’t, your college experience is going to be very…bleh. You’re just gonna literally go to school, go home, that’s it. And you’re not going to fully…that investment of thousands and thousands of dollars is not going be reached to the potential that it could have been.

Lux: And for folks who are more on the introverted side of that spectrum, could you suggest methods for asking that are maybe less intimidating?

Abdi: Probably just emails. Yeah, honestly, just emails, and maybe just setting up–once you kind of build some type of rapport–going back and forth on email, maybe setting up an appointment with that specific…I guess coach or advisor, and things like that. Because I’m connecting now. Because, at first, yeah, I was going back and forth with this lady named Hillary, and she’s like one of the main people for the business building and scholarships. And so obviously, she’s an important person that I need to connect with and keep around. And first, we’re just going back and forth with emails until I was, like, okay, let’s schedule. Actually, it was my girlfriend’s mom. She was like, “Okay, let’s schedule an appointment with her.” So that way we can see each other face to face and connect that type of rapport, make that type of rapport. 

Lux: Do you feel like the faculty that you have had classes with have been supportive if they were aware that you’re first-gen, if they were supportive or offered resources that are specific to first-gen students–or I guess even more broadly, what your impressions are of your interactions with faculty?

Abdi: I don’t think they’ve provided a whole lot…No, my economics professor Catherine, she was super cool. She was more aware of other students on campus, like single parent students, first-gen students and stuff, and so there was a couple times where she did have announcements before the beginning of class, also resources, um, but besides that I think she was the really the only professor that really did anything like that. Besides my First-Gen [Scholars] leaders, of course. 

Lux: So, do you find that academic advising gives you some support there? Or is it more like a kind of go out on your own and explore and find resources or services?

Abdi: Again, I’ve always heard it from somebody, so, definitely word-of-mouth. Again, there’s been times where professors have brought in speakers from those departments to tell the class about those resources. Okay, one thing I do–and not a lot of students do it–is actually look at flyers. Or I look at announcements that are hung up or on the digital screens. I actually take the time to look at it, look it up sometimes and that’s it. Or sometimes if people are tabling, if I’m curious enough, I’ll check it out. Or I make eye contact with them, and now I have to go up. But most of it is word-of-mouth, for sure, from classrooms or cohorts, like First-Gen [Scholars] and MSI, and…

Lux: Sorry, what was MSI?

Abdi: The Male Success Initiative.

Lux: Nice.

Abdi: With the BCC [Black Cultural Center].

Lux: Oh yeah, great! Okay, so you’re very involved in a lot of groups on campus, it sounds like. 

Abdi: Not enough. 

Lux: Not enough? Really?

Abdi: I want to be more involved. 

Lux: Like what kind of directions are you hoping to go?

Abdi: Hmmm

Lux: Have you thought about leadership stuff?

Abdi: Oh! I have. See, a part of me is like, “Eh, it’s too late for that.” I should have…

Jimena: No, definitely not.

Abdi: Ah, I don’t know, like student government?

Lux: Yeah!

Jimena: You could still definitely do it. 100%

Abdi: I just feel like I don’t have the connections enough to do that.

Lux: Or even student leadership positions in organizations. 

Jimena: Like, for example, in MSI, I know they have mentors and stuff. That could be a leadership position, right?

Abdi: Well, like, okay.

Jimena: Or even like a First-Gen [Scholars] leader.

Abdi: I was just about to say that, yeah.

Jimena: Leadership positions like that.

Abdi: Yeah. Okay, yeah. First-Gen…that’s definitely one leadership position I would love to be in eventually. Another way to get more involved is…I want to do sports again. Like, I’m still way too young and active to just not be doing anything. Like, I gotta get my body moving again. And I definitely want to join some. If not sports, I want to do some type of club, like…I want to do dancing again. See, there’s so many things I want to do, but what time–what time do I have? But, no, student orgs. I definitely thought about cause I gotta build up my resume.

Lux: Do you feel like a lot of the extracurriculars where you’re doing classes that are electives or groups…do you feel like you do a lot of those for professional growth, or more like social growth, or a combination of those? Or even academic stuff?

Abdi: I’m kind of a mix of everything. I think I always join it just cause I want to. And it looks fun. …like, I know it will look good on a resume eventually, in terms of making friends. I know that will eventually happen. But I think I don’t go into it thinking, “Oh, yeah. This will be really good for this.” I think I just do it just to do it. Just because I like to do things. Yeah.

Lux: It sounds like you really like to be involved in the campus community. 

Jimena: Yeah.

Lux: Which is an amazing quality for a leader. Just putting it out there.

Jimena: It is.

Lux: Just putting it out there.

Abdi: I mean, school without the social aspect is so boring. Like, it’s so lame.

Jimena: And it’s hard.

Abdi: Yeah. And, yeah, you just need your support system. And I definitely think I’m glad that I’m not one of those people from high school who kind of, like, stopped having that. And this is how you know I didn’t peak in high school. [Laughs] No, but, like, in high school I was very, I guess, that kid who everyone knew…I was doing everything, like cheer, ballroom, track, basketball, student government, like, just everything.

Jimena: There’s actually a ballroom club here on campus.

Abdi: I saw.

Jimena: Yes

Abdi: I don’t think I’ll join, though. [Laughs] I was actually looking at one the other day. 

Jimena: Oh, nice!

Abdi: Yeah. Oh! I’m actually teaching a dance class tonight.

Jimena: Oh, you are? That’s exciting. 

Lux: Where do you teach?

Abdi: I’m teaching at KV. So, my friend, Arushi, she has a Bollywood dance team that they have, where they compete and perform and stuff. But since they’re not competing currently, they want to get other people in to teach different styles of dancing. So, I’m one of them tonight.

Lux: That’s so awesome. I love that. Well, I think that about wraps it up for us, unless there’s anything else that you want to add.

Abdi: I guess Future Abdi will be listening to this and probably thinking, “Wow, those are some dumb responses.” 

Lux: Oh, no! [Laughs] I think that Future Abdi has some grace, too.

Abdi: No, Future Abdi’s gonna roast me. [Laughs] But, yeah, you know what, I got…I have nothing else to say. I’m just excited to listen to this back in the future when, like, I’ll be thirty or something.

Lux: Yes! Absolutely. Thank you so much for being with us today.

Abdi: For sure.