Interviewers: Lux Darkbloom & Jimena Prieto Andrew
Interview Subject: Janet Lopez 

Lux: My name is Lux Darkbloom, and I’m here with Jimena Prieto. And could you please introduce yourself? 

Janet: Yes, so my name is Janet Lopez. I am a second-year at the University of Utah. I come from a Mexican background. I’m Mexican-American, very family-oriented, trying to make my parents proud, trying to make myself proud. So, yeah, I’m in the business school also, so I’m planning on doing accounting as my major.

Lux: Nice. Do you have siblings?

Janet: I do. I do. I actually have one younger sister. She’s four years and five months younger than me. But we’re, like– people ask us if we’re twins all the time because she’s, like, super, like, she’s just super mature. We’re almost the same height, like, you know, like so–what’s it called–people are always like, “Oh, are you guys twins?” I’m like, “Yeah,” I’m  just like, “Yeah,” you know, until people find out that we’re not. But yeah, she’s my younger sister, but her and I are super duper close. She’s, like, my mini me you know, so yeah. 

Lux: That’s awesome.

Janet: She’s my little baby sometimes. When I go home–cuz I live on campus–I go home on, like, the weekends or, like, during the week. I’m just like, “Okay, I just came to visit you.” Okay, and then I’ll be, like, going back home, back up to the university. So it’s just like, I don’t know, it’s just, like, kind of being apart– away from her for a very long period, it’s just kind of, like, we do grow, like, that missing sensation, so it’s just, like, “I miss you.”

Lux: I’m glad that you’re close enough that you can go home on the weekends or even during the week sometimes. 

Janet: Yeah, it’s so nice. I don’t know how it would be, like, living out of state, not being able to see her, like, in person because it’s just totally so different, seeing your, like, the person– like, we Facetime during the week, so it’s so nice. But, like, nothing compares to when, like, during the end of the week, and we’re just, like, talking all our chisme and stuff, so I’m like–

[Laughter]

Lux: Yeah!

Janet: I love it here.

Jimena: I thought you guys were actually twins for a hot sec?

Janet: Yeah, yeah, I’ve been able to keep it up for a little bit.

[Laughter]

Janet: And it’s so funny because we both mutually said, like, okay–she goes to UVU, because we didn’t want to go to the same school, so I went to the U, and then she went to UVU. And like people would ask her, and it’s like, “Oh yeah, you know, I’m doing business at the UVU, doing this and this and that.” And she actually kept up with it. People are like, that’s why people have been able to actually believe that we’re twins and stuff, so it’s super funny. 

Lux: So as far as, like– since we’re talking higher ed, what actually, like, motivated you initially to pursue higher education?

Janet: Well, I feel like one of the things is just kind of like my, you know, family background. My mom had eight other siblings, her being the ninth one. And a lot of my cousins from my mom’s side got pregnant really, really quick, you know? So–what’s it called?–one of my cousins, she had her baby at 15, and then the other one at 16, you know? So I just kind of, like, saw, like, the lifestyle that she was having to live and everything like that. And then another cousin, like, who was here as well, she had her baby when she was 17, and then when she was 16. Well, another cousin had her baby when she was 16. So, like, I don’t know, I just saw that, like, that lifestyle that they were living, and I just didn’t want to live that as well. But, you know, my parents have always, like, put on me, like, oh, you know, like they taught– they made me see, like, what education, like, higher education would actually give me, you know? They would use themselves as examples, like, “Okay, you know, look at what we’re doing, you know, where we’re working–stuff like that–like I wouldn’t want you to be working, like, that same way and stuff like that, you know? And my dad would always be like, “I would rather, I would rather see you work with your brains and, like, you know, your mind and everything, rather than having to work with your hands, like, hard labor like I’m doing,” you know? So, you know, it always, like, inspired me. And I’m like, okay, you know, I want to. I always wanted to kind of be like a beginning to breaking that chain of just, like, you know, going to, like, some other job, you know? And actually doing something above and beyond in higher education. So, it was just kind of like, you know, I saw– one of my cousins, you know, they’re in California, and they, they, they were, like, one of the first ones out of, like, the whole family that actually went to college and stuff like that. So, you know, like I– he himself was like, “Okay, you know, like, it’s doable,” you know?

Lux: Yeah.

Janet: And everything like that. So, you know, but, like here, you know, I’m one of the few that’s actually, like, still in college and stuff like that. So, I know, like, I was just like, okay, like, I just want to do bigger things, you know? I don’t want to be stuck with, like, the same thing that has been going on with my family. I want to go above and beyond. So, yeah.

Lux: Yeah. Who would you say has been, like, your, your biggest supporter or, like, if you have a, like a mentor– or I guess, like, folks who encouraged you basically?

Janet: I would definitely say there’s, you know, my family, for sure. My mom, I definitely say is, like, one of the bigger ones, along with my sister. Like my mom, I remember she would be like– like the first year that I was up here, I lived on campus and then I would cry to her on the phone because I hated being up here, you know? And I’m just like, it’s so hard, you know, because it’s obviously…I went to Taylorsville High School and, like, there’s just…I had all my close friends there, you know, like I was in student government. So, I was always communicating, talking with people, you know, so close together where I would see everybody in the hall, you know? And then it’s very diverse as well, you know. And then coming up here, everybody’s just, like, in their own world, you know? And it was super hard to kind of go from Taylorsville to, like, up to the U, you know? And then a lot of my friends from, like, high school, like, they didn’t come up here either. It was, like, it was only, like, people that I–close ones? It was only two girls that, like– what’s it called?–actually came up here to the U, some other– others went to like SUU and stuff like that. So like, you know, two of us coming up here, you know? Like we got– we’re still, like, in contact and stuff like that, but it was just kind of really hard going from, like, so many to just two people, like, that I actually really know and vibe like that. But I would call my mom, and I’d be like, I’d be crying and she was like, she’ll like comfort me for, like, five seconds, she’d be like, “Pues asỉ es la vida,” you know? And she’d be like, you know, like, “You should be, like– you should be proud because, like, not everybody, like, if it were to be easy, everybody would be there. But because it’s not easy, I was like, that’s why, you know, you’re there and stuff like that.” And I feel like she definitely, like, motivated me, saying all those things, you know? Like, I was, like, sad because she didn’t comfort me. I’d be like, “Mom, pero, like, you know, why are you not, like, being nice to me, you know?” and stuff like that. I’m just like, pero then she would be, like, “Well, because if I’m nice to you, you’re gonna get used to that. You’re just gonna get used to that, you’re gonna get– you’re gonna stay, in your, like, comfort zone, like that you are, you know? I want you to go, like, outside of that and stuff like that.” So that’s when I was like, “You know, you’re right, you know, like, not everybody can be up here. You know, I should be, like, proud and, like, continue going forward, you know, because I know that not everybody has the opportunity to, like, be in a school like the University of Utah.” So, um, she was definitely like, you know, a big pusher for me, like, kind of overstepping that, you know, that little rock and bump that I was going through. But then, you know, along with my sister, I feel, like, just kind of, like, her just listening. It’s like, “It’s okay, you know, like, you got it,” you know, like even though it’s, like, more, like, minimal in a way. But I just feel, like, her, like, also, like, pushing, like, you know, like, she was a grand motivator to kind of just, like, “Okay, you know, like, I want you to, like, also pursue, you know, higher education,” you know. Like, “Yeah, I might have– I might be going through, like, the hardest struggles of, like, finding resources and all that stuff, but that will just make it easier for you, you know? I want to be able to help you so that maybe you don’t have to go through– You’ll go through your own bumps as well. Your own, like, you know, barriers and stuff. But it might not– me, going through it first, you won’t have to go through the same thing again.” So, I also feel like that was a– definitely a pusher for me to just kind of keep going. But then, um, I have another mentor. I actually worked for her, but she was also, like, I remember she’d be, like, “If you need anything, always let me know,” you know? She definitely helped me kind of view things from the outside-of-school perspective, which I feel, like, kind of joined together in a way, because school and the world outside of school are so different. So, getting those two points of life really helped me as well to keep moving forward. Yeah.

Lux: Yeah. I hope this normalizes a lot of those experiences, too, like feeling isolated. It’s so valid because this is a big campus, and coming from an environment where, like you said, you knew a lot of folks, and you’d see them on a daily basis, and then– what a dramatic difference being on this campus.

Janet: Most definitely.

Lux: And a much less diverse campus, too. It’s pretty intense.

Janet: It was a change. Yeah, and it was a change. When I got my acceptance letter, I was super happy. And I’m super happy to be able to be here. But then, just being here, actually, I was like, “Whoa, this is a little different, just a little tad different.”

Lux: Yeah, the campus is huge, too.

Janet: It is. Oh my gosh.

Lux: It’s so challenging to navigate it.

Janet: Literally, my first year, girl, I have never walked that much.

[ Laughter] 

Janet: I had never walked that much. I was like, I’d be walking from upper campus to all the way down here. I’d be like, “My calves are looking so good.” 

[Laughter]

Lux: So, you mentioned you were a sophomore? 

Janet: Yeah.

Lux: And are you in school full-time right now?

Janet: Yeah.

Lux: And do you also work?

Janet: Yeah.

Lux: Is it part-time, full-time? What does that look like?

Janet: It’s part-time, yeah.

Lux: Okay. How do you– Do you find it challenging to balance your work life with your school life, family slash social life?

Janet: You know, at times I do, you know, because– I work with a lady, planning networking events, but then, on the side, my dad and I also have our own construction business. And so there’s also that that I kind of have to handle and stuff. I like to stay pretty active. Obviously, there are times when I’m just chilling, but I feel like, at times, when I’ve gone through struggles when I just feel things are super overwhelming, I just kind of put everything on pause, you know. And then I put everything on pause but then I’m behind on things, so I start stressing even more. I definitely had that moment–even this semester–I had that moment where tax season was coming up, there were a bunch of things we had to do for the business. I just kind of put school on pause for a second. And then I came back, and I’m just like, whoa. When you get a little bit behind, you feel so behind, and it’s hard to catch back up. So, at times, it’s definitely hard for me. And then I just get in my own bubble, and I stay in my own bubble, and I just get, like, all these different thoughts, like “Okay, Janet, why are you not doing anything? Why did you let that assignment pass?” And all that just kind of starts accumulating on me, and I’m just burnt out, you know? I’m just dead, and I just want to be in bed on my phone and not talk to anybody. And I sometimes, like– that happened, like, twice this semester. And it’s like a recovery, you know?

Lux: Yeah!

Janet: It’s definitely like I have to go through a recovery. I went through this moment, and I have to kind of go through– Thankfully, I have people around me that definitely helped me get past stuff like that. My sister, my family, some friends, and my boyfriend. They’re like, “Okay, you got this.” And even if they tell me I got it, it’s obviously so much different than having to go through all of that, but the thought of me being able to talk and vent to them is super helpful and stuff. But I’ve had to, like, break some habits and start some other habits as well. I just feel like I’ve been– you know, one of the things is trying to be less on my phone, set some time aside and stuff like that. And I try to find, like, where I’m actually productive and doing my school first. So, this weekend, I went snowboarding. I try to do everything throughout the week so that on Saturday, I can just be chilling. I’m not having that assignment in the back of my head, like, “Okay, I need to do my assignment” and actually enjoy it.

Lux: Yeah, It weighs you down.

Janet: Yeah, it does. It really does. We have strict deadlines and stuff like that, you know. I always try to start that habit of being at least a little bit in advance so I can have, like, the weekend free and stuff like that. But it kind of sucks sometimes because I’m like– this past week, I had 11 assignments that I had to do. And I’m just like, “Whoa!” It’s just, there are times where I’m prioritizing school, you know, so I don’t get as much time with some friends or being able to have this– On Sunday, I was doing homework while at the table, and my parents were talking. And it’s just, like, you know, I was kind of sad, like, it’s kind of a bummer because I’m not really in the conversation, but I have to finish this because it’s due tonight. So it’s just like, there’s good and bad. It’s up and down and stuff like that. But I sometimes think that it’s just for a moment. After that, on the weekends, like on Saturday or something, I have time to actually talk with them, go out to the store, or go out to the mall. Because my family’s a big part of my life. I’m very family-oriented, so that’s very important for me, but it’s a struggle sometimes. I miss them, sometimes, and I miss those conversations that I used to have before. But yeah . . .

Lux: It’s a lot of sacrifice that you make when you’re balancing all of these responsibilities. I mean, 11 assignments in one week–my goodness, that’s fuu– I don’t even know how I would do that.That’s so much work.

Janet: You know, I have the task thing on Canvas, and when my circles are all full, and it says 100%, I’m like crying. I’m so happy because it throws a little confetti. I’ve been waiting for this the whole week. 

Lux: Yeah, those little rewards built into Canvas just to, yeah, to acknowledge that you’ve done a lot of work.

Jimena: It’s nice, especially submitting that assignment that you’ve been dreading, and it’s like the confetti, like the ice creams or whatever it shows. “Yeah, I did it!” And it’s like a weight lifted off your shoulders. It’s really nice.

Janet: It does. It really does.

Lux: So you’ve mentioned you’ve come up with a lot of strategies to prevent yourself from getting overwhelmed with schoolwork and finding balance, too. Can you talk about what it was like when you first started school here? Like how did you get from being a brand new student to being in your second year, and you’ve developed all of these incredible academic habits and study skills? And I know that you definitely came to campus with many of these [skills], too, but what was it like when you first started?

Janet: It was so hard. My senior year, you know– well, starting with my junior year, I definitely went through a rollercoaster of habits. That’s, like, when COVID was happening and everything like that. My sister had a major accident as well, so I had to start online school way before everybody did because she was having to go to the hospital, get checkups, and everything. I definitely feel like COVID made me lazy, you know, because we didn’t have to put, like, in the same effort sometimes. So I fell out of good habits then. So then in my junior year, having to do things online, like, I would just have the whole day to do what I needed to do, rather than having to do it during a class period or something, you know. So I feel like I definitely got carried away with those type of things. And then senior year was, like, pretty easy. I was taking concurrent enrollment classes, which were my main priority, getting good grades, doing my assignments and stuff like that. But it was just like, “Okay, I did my assignment,” you know, and then we’re done. You know, we didn’t have major tests like we have here or anything like that. So I still stayed up to date with all my stuff and everything like that. I was obviously still busy because I was in student government, you know, so I was doing more things and being able to handle a lot of things. And then coming into college, I feel like I came here, entered the business school, and I feel like I didn’t see anybody like me, you know. I just walked in, and I’m just like, [deep breath] “Well, I’m here.”

[Laugher]

Janet: I remember I was in one of my B core classes, and there were three girls in front of me looking at wedding dresses that they were going to have. And I’m just like, “Girl, what doin’? What doin’?” I just feel like, you know, there are obviously different people with different ages. It was just such a different environment. First, I don’t see a lot of people like me, people of color. And then I see girls thinking about their wedding rather than the assignment they’re supposed to be doing, you know? So I just saw so many different things that I wasn’t really exposed to. I’m very proud of my culture and stuff like that, being a Mexican-American. I love my Mexican culture. I like to dress with my boots, my dress, my guaraches, and everything, you know. And then coming up here and seeing a bunch of girls with Lulu or these types of attire. So the environment was just so different for me. It definitely made me feel like I didn’t fit in. I asked myself a lot if I actually belonged here. My mom would tell me, “Not everybody can be there, so you should be happy that you’re there.” But I know that’s harder said than done, and I know she knew that too, but she tried to actually tell me because she was like, “Okay, I need to tell her. I can’t be soft on her.” It was very hard. Sometimes I remember my Business 1050 class. Oh my God, I had to do so much reading for that class, and it was only exam-based, and the professor would always go so fast, and I’m just like, “Boy, what are you saying?” It was the history of business, and I don’t even know how old the textbook– It was so much. I remember that class humbled me down. I was like, “Dang, I’ve been humbled.” I was like, “What am I doing?” So, yeah, I had to find different ways. I know that my fall semester was definitely experimenting to see what works for me and what doesn’t. I came in from Taylorsville with some habits, but I knew, like, it wasn’t enough, and I had to add on to them even more. So it was definitely a rollercoaster. I always say my life is always a rollercoaster. That fall semester was one of those harder rollercoasters where I was down, going up, doing twists, and everything like that. I had to learn. I failed in some things, but from those failures, you know, I was able to learn some things. [unintelligible] I know we have to go through those moments to get back up and be much stronger. It was really hard. I know everybody experiences it in their own ways. I’m okay saying that it was hard. I cried a lot. I napped so much, too, because I was so tired. I just felt so drained. But I had to find different things. I also had to make new friends and stuff because I was living on campus. My mom would be like, “Well, you can come home,” but I was like, “I don’t want to go home, go to the easy way.” Going home was the easy route out of whatever I was feeling up here. So I had to go through this struggle of, like, okay, making new friends, meeting new people, you know actually eating because there were times when I wouldn’t even be eating. I would just be all down and everything like that, so . . . It was an experience, and I lived it in my own way, but now, being, like, a sophomore, I’ve met new people. I’ve started, like,  a routine. I’m going to the gym, kind of seeing the progress. One of the things that has helped me is that I look back. My freshman year, I definitely journaled a lot. And I would go back, or sometimes I think back to where I was a year ago, and I like to see, like, the progress I’ve actually done. And I feel like that’s actually helped me a lot to just keep pushing forward. I was down bad back then, and I’m here now, you know. I feel like I’m in such a different place as a person. I’ve had healthy friendships and met good people and everything. So I feel like I’ve definitely come up from that. If I was able to do it when I was more alone, I feel like I could obviously keep going forward now that I have more people, and I’m happier and more stable. I’m okay with being on campus. Before, I would be going home every other day. I got a new car for my birthday, and I put so many miles on my car when I was a freshman because I would be going home so much. I live 35 minutes away, so it adds up. My dad’s like, “Why do you have so many miles on your car? You got it with five.” I was like, “Well, Dad, I’m here every single– every other day, and I’m just going on drives to get my mind off things.” 

Lux: I think those are all really important coping strategies, too. It sounds like you are really reflective about your experiences. And it sounds like, even as you’re going through those experiences–like that first semester–you check in with yourself about what’s working, what isn’t, and appreciating the learning curve that’s there. It does sound like you do a lot of self-reflection, and that’s really impressive and meaningful, too.

Janet: No, yeah. And I feel like throughout my freshman semester, I kind of learned to be okay with being alone. I was surrounded by people all the time during my whole high school. I did student government all three years, so I was always surrounded by people, you know. I’d be at school late; I’d still have to be with people. When I’d go home, my parents would be there. I was always surrounded. And up here, there would be times where I would have to walk alone to class or something like that. So I had to go through a process of being okay alone, being okay with my own company. I feel like it was a time when I needed to learn to self-love myself a lot more and not depend on other people to be okay or be happy. It was a struggle. I felt super alone sometimes because I was just sad. Not that I’m an overthinker, but thoughts really get to me sometimes, and they add up on me. I did therapy when I was in high school, and I did a couple of sessions with my therapist my freshman year, and she told me, “You need to learn to be okay with yourself.” I knew that, but it was a whole other thing that I needed to go through and stuff like that. And now I’m, like, okay. When I’m alone, I’ll be reading a book or I’ll be doing my nails or something like that. I don’t feel like I need somebody else next to me to just be okay, so…

Lux: That is such a hard lesson to learn, too, and crying is the most reasonable response to it ever, truly. It’s totally more than okay.

Jimena: Valid. Especially going through, like, that transition from, like, high school to college, where everything changes, so that’s impressive.

Janet: I always told myself, “Me crying is going to make my eyelashes long.”

Lux: There you go.

[Unintelligible]

Janet: I stand by that. I stand by that. Let that be something like, “It’s okay, and your lashes are going to grow.”

Lux: It’s a nice, positive spin on it. And you get some relief, too, with crying, get that out of your body–that energy, you know? The next questions are going to focus more on your experiences as a first-generation student. So . . . do you think that your first-generation student status has impacted your choice of major or your career path?

Janet: I would say so, a little bit to some extent. I was, originally, wanting to come and do social work, but I was like, “I’m not too stable for that.” So, you know, business came in second, and I started in the business school. My parents were always saying, like, “If you have your own business, you have more availability to do the things you want,” you know? “You could be traveling and making money at the same time.” Rather than saying that, like if I went with social work, I would have to be at an office to make money. So, being first-gen, I base myself a lot on what my parents said because there was nobody else in front of me to be like, “But you can also do this, or you can do that” and stuff like that. So I just went off based on that, and that’s why I’m doing business now. But my parents definitely influenced me in what career path I was gonna do. I actually had this talk with my mom, and I was like, “If you didn’t really tell me about doing business and putting me in that mindset, I would probably be doing something in sports, like kind of doing, like, sports admin, or, like, sports something because I really like sports” and stuff like that. So I would probably be doing something along that route. My mom was like, “You could be doing that, you know, but you wouldn’t have the same freedom as you would with business.” I just thought to myself, you know, either/or, you know? If I’m doing business, I might have to be traveling a lot or something, so it would kind of still balance out in a way. Maybe I’m not in an office, like, all the time, but I would still have to do a bunch of work. I feel like I see that with the lady I work with. She plans networking events for entrepreneurs, and I see how much they’re doing and how much they travel. Whenever we send out the invitations for the event, I get responses back and they’re like, “Oh, I can’t because I’m gonna be out of town. I’m gonna be here. I’m gonna be there.” So, it’s also, like, work life, you know. You also have a work life, know. You might create your own schedule. And I know that’s, like, [unintelligible] if you take these vacations, like, this week. It’s probably, like, you can. But if you have meetings, you can’t, you know. You still have to do the stuff you need to be doing. So I definitely feel like– because I was the first one going to college, I got influenced by that a lot, and I didn’t really see other options on a grander scale than just, like, doing business, so . . .

Lux: Yeah, no, that totally makes sense. Can you talk a little bit about what your experience being in the College of Business is like?

Janet: It’s very different, you know? 

Lux: That’s what we’ve heard. A lot.

[Laughter] 

Janet: Like I told you, when I went in my freshman year, like, I just didn’t see anybody like me. I feel like throughout my freshman year, I definitely changed even how I dressed, you know. 

Lux: Oh, really?

Janet: Because back in Taylorsville, like, I would be wearing anything, you know? I’m not saying that, like, I didn’t like to– like back in Taylorsville, I would always be doing my makeup or something like that. Not every single day because I know doing my makeup also takes time and stuff like that. But I was obviously doing more, you know, or I’d be wearing different outfits. And I’d always be wearing, like, jeans with a nice top, or a crop top, or something like that. But I came here and I saw girls with their Ugg slippers and their oversized hoodies, a bun up, no makeup or anything like that, you know? So I would sometimes be up here and I’m doing my makeup with eyelashes. I’d be the only one with full beat makeup and eyelashes. And I’m just like . . . you know? So I guess on one– Now I don’t do my makeup as much throughout the week and stuff like that. Maybe it’s good for my face that I’m giving it a break, but I just felt like, you know, I just looked around, and I’m just like [uncomfortable sound]. You know, like, there’s that copy/paste Latina makeup, you know, that would be on TikTok and stuff like that? I’d be doin’ that, and everybody else would just be, like, no makeup or anything like that. You know, just throwing an outfit on and stuff like that. So it was just really different, you know? It just felt like I didn’t really belong because I didn’t see that many people like me. I know people would be talking about, like, “Oh, I’m going to this place during spring break.” Fortunately, I’ve been able to travel. Obviously I have to save up, and my parents have also been very supportive of us traveling and stuff like that. So last spring break, I was able to go to Cabo with my uncle. But my uncle’s a flight attendant, you know, so we use his benefits. So, because of that, I was actually able to go, but I knew that on a regular basis I couldn’t just be like, “Oh, I’m going here.” Or people would be talking about, like, “Oh, I’m going to get this car.” I remember it was actually in that same auditorium class, this girl was saying, “Yeah, I got in a car crash, and I think I’m going to get a BMW this time.” I think she had an Audi or something, but she was like, “I think I’m gonna get a BMW this time.” I was just like, “Okay.” They were just talking on such a grander scale than where I was standing. And I know that, like, hearing all those things, I just felt shocked, you know, like I was just like, like– I’m like, “Dang, I’m not like that. I’m really not like that.” It’s just a totally different environment compared to the amount of people of color in the business school. It’s not the same number as other people. So like I said, I just didn’t, like– I always liked to wear my guaraches and stuff like that during high school, but I didn’t really do that as much now. I feel kinda like I’m more stuff– on the weekends. On the weekends, I’m with my curled hair, you know, with my makeup and everything like that. But then during the week, I just feel kind of like now that I have all of my classes this semester in the business school, like, that’s, like, where literally I live. I’m just like, “Simple” you know? Sometimes I do my eyelash extensions and stuff, but it’s just those things where I think about my day and, like, because I’m here, I’ve changed those things I used to do back then. Sometimes I’m like, “Okay, it’s fine. I guess I get to sleep in, rather than doing my makeup.” So I try to view it through a better lens, but I definitely know, like, that I probably would still be doing my makeup or, like, dressing in a different attire that I would wear and stuff like that, rather than where I’m at now, so . . .

Lux: Yeah, we’ve heard a lot about how the College of Business–or the School of Business?– is like– so, it almost operates independently of the university in many ways. The other thing we’ve heard, though, is that it’s wildly expensive. 

Janet: Oh yeah, it is. 

Lux: Is that what your experience has been like? 

Janet: Yeah, you know, I’m very fortunate enough that I have the Jazz scholarship, so I’m very fortunate that it’s all paid for. But when I see that tuition balance, I’m just like– because I always have to send it to my scholarship, I’m just like– And I had a conversation with one of my friends who is doing kinesiology and going the pre-med route, and they were saying that we have to pay our regular tuition, and then we have an upper-division tuition as well. So it racks up. I just see it and I’m like, “Wow.” I knew that if I didn’t have a scholarship, I would definitely be finding my way out because it is expensive. It really is. My first semester was obviously cheaper because I didn’t have to be in the upper division. But now I see that grand scale, and I’m shocked myself. I’m just like, “How?” I know the business school has a lot of money, and having that as tuition for students is crazy to me. It really is. 

Lux: The tuition differentials– is it something like $200 per credit?

Janet: I think it is, when it’s like– others ones are like $30. 

Jimena: Yeah, it’s expensive. 

Lux: That’s wild. As far as, like, range goes–and if this is too personal, you totally don’t have to answer it–but, like, tuition range, what kind of numbers have you seen for a semester, low end to high end? 

Janet: Well, with my tuition, you know, so I live on campus because my scholarship allows us to live on campus. So, um, I remember, like, I don’t know . . . I think it was around $30k or something. 

Jimena: Per semester?

Janet: Well, last semester, I think it added up to $30k or, like, something along that …I know it could be more than that, but I definitely know that I’ve seen those numbers on my tuition history, of like $30k and stuff like that.

Lux: That’s incredible. 

Janet: Yeah because, like, my dorm itself, I believe, is, like, $11 [hundred] maybe, like $1,000-something per month. 

Jimena: See? That’s insane. For me, my whole tuition for both fall and spring is like $11-12k, so the fact that that’s just for living . . . 

Janet: Yeah, I think it’s just for living . . . is around that. Yeah, because singles are like $9k. And I have a loft, so it’s like $10k just for the loft for the whole year, and then the other $20k is probably just for my tuition. 

Lux: That’s tremendous. I wouldn’t even know how to plan for that. So, is it a full-ride scholarship? 

Janet: Yeah

Lux: That’s so great. I’m really glad because it seems like with not-full-ride scholarships, folks are scrambling to get their tuition balances met. It’s just, like, the nature of that terrible system, unfortunately. 

Janet: Well, yeah, you know. I always say, you know, I’m very fortunate to be able to. I thank the Jazz all the time because I know that I wouldn’t be doing the stuff I’m doing now if it weren’t for them. They also do some activities, like take us out to games and stuff like that here and there, which is nice. But I definitely know that I wouldn’t be living the experience that I am if it weren’t for them, and I know my parents wouldn’t either. I know that, like, if I had to pay for tuition, we’d have to cut costs and other things. So, it definitely– seeing them not stress about having to help me pay for my tuition is definitely a big pointer for me because they’ve already sacrificed so much for my sister and I. And then having to do even more to put me through college as well– it would definitely hit me in the heart, you know. 

Lux: Yeah, it’s a whole other layer of obligation and guilt, too. As a first-generation student, do you feel like being first-gen has had an impact on your academic success?

Janet: I feel like being first-gen, you know, like, I’ve been able to have different resources and stuff like that. So I definitely know that it’s had an impact. Because I’m first-gen, I was able to get my scholarship, you know? I know there are a bunch of resources out there, but because I’m the first one kind of going through, like, the whole process, I feel like it’s . . . I had to learn a lot, too. It comes with a lot of learning.

Lux: For sure.

Janet: So, I definitely know that, like, I feel that success is measured in a little bit of different ways; everybody has their own views on success and stuff. Everybody has their own unique way of succeeding and actually accomplishing and stuff like that. But it’s honestly, like, at the end of the day, we’re the ones who make the choice of, like, “Okay, I’m going to do that or this. I’m gonna do this or I’m gonna go talk to this person.” I definitely know we have to set out forward more, rather than going out to that person, and it takes a little bit because sometimes it’s not easy to be able to talk to somebody or tell them, like, “I need help,” you know? 

Lux: Yeah, it’s stressful asking for support, especially if you’re trying to engage a resource or a service on campus. That can be really challenging and intimidating, too.

Janet: And it is, you know. And it’s just like, you know, I said– you surround yourself, like, you probably don’t see very many people doing it, you know? I feel like at times, being a first-gen student, you might have an advantage because there are people there who actually want to help you. But sometimes, we don’t really realize that to some extent, you know. It takes a little bit to be like, okay– You know like Kevin in First-Gen [Scholars], I know he’s always open to talk if we need something or whatever. But we definitely need to go up to them. But I know there are people who don’t; they might be first-gen, and they want to go through it alone and not go to a person to tell them they need help. It’s definitely a struggle. We sometimes try to go in, thinking we can do it alone and don’t need anybody else, but I feel like sometimes we really, really do. We just kind of need to bypass that and be like, “Okay, I do need help. How do I find this? How do I do this?”

Lux: As far as resources that are specific to first-gen students on campus, what has your experience been with those? I mean this could definitely include First-Gen Scholars or anything like that?

Janet: Starting with First-Gen Scholars, I feel like everybody in the department was super welcoming. I walk in there, and I feel like– So I did First-Gen [Scholars], I started First-Gen [Scholars] my freshman year, and I loved it. I would always look forward to Thursdays because I had that class on Thursdays. Cuz during the week, I’d be stuck with the same people, where I was like, “Oh, well, I don’t really vibe with you.” So, going to a class where I’m laughing and talking, it was just something I always looked forward to during the week. I was like, “I have First-Gen [Scholars] today!” My family was super nice as well. We were called “Business and Friends” because everybody was in business except for two or three of us. It was really, really nice because I was like, “I never would have thought you were in business. I’ve never seen you.” Going there, it was definitely a game changer because you would actually see a smile on my face–a genuine smile. I remember Yovanni, he was our leader. He would always be like, “Shh!” looking at us because we’d be talking so much, you know? I feel like us in that group, we didn’t really get that throughout the week, so this was our time to shine that way, in our own personal way. It was such a good escape from the rest of the week. So I can just be like, you know, “I’m happy. I’m happy to see you guys” and everything like that. And you know Kevin. Kevin’s so easy to talk to. It’s so weird. I’m just like, “Bro, I was telling you one thing and now I’m telling you this. I’m like, “What?” 

Jimena: It happens with Kevin. You’ll be talking about something, and then out of nowhere, you’re 40 minutes into the conversation that was just supposed to be a question. 

Janet: I know. Yeah, exactly. It’s nice to be able to know somebody that you can talk to like that. That man’s always laughing, and it just makes me laugh, too. I’m just like, “Bro, why you laughin’? Was it that funny?” And then Linda, as well, everybody–and they’re the leaders. It’s just like– they know the struggle, you know? So it’s nice to know that they’re obviously going through things in their own specific way, but they had to overcome and go through the same things I was going through and stuff. It was really nice with First-Gen [Scholars]. And I’m also in Opportunity Scholars, so there’s a lot of diversity there. It’s kind of really nice when we have our events and stuff. Because they’re in the business school, and they bring people in to talk and give us their perspective of what they had to overcome. It was nice to see different views, knowing different people’s stories, how to navigate things in the business school, and finding internships. We also did service projects there. So it was nice to do a service project, helping the community. It’s really nice, you know? And now I’m a mentor for First-Gen [Scholars], and when one of the freshman girls came up to me and was like, “Oh, I’m going through this,” I kind of… I myself was one time in her shoes. Now that I’ve been able to overcome that part of my life, I want to give that back and help somebody else. If I can help somebody out, I do want to because I know the difficulty that I had to go through, that I don’t want everybody to be going through the same thing, especially if I can help in some way. My mom always said, “I had to go through some difficult parts so that you don’t have to go through it anymore.” That has always stuck with me, and I want to continue that with other people. I’ve been able to do it with some cousins as well and stuff like that. Those are definitely the two major ones that have made a bigger impact on my college experience.

Lux: Yeah, community is a theme that is recurring in these conversations. One of the biggest themes we’re finding is the value of community on a big campus like this, but especially on a campus where, regardless of size, it’s historically and predominantly white. Very, very much. I think faculty are almost at 90%, which is reflective of the state, but not of the campus at all. What are your thoughts on that? And no pressure to answer in one particular direction or anything.

Janet: I look at it and I’m just like, “Wow.” Sometimes I’m just like, “Wow.” I know it’s predominantly white. I sometimes think about how we’re in 2024, and it’s still staying the same. My dad would tell me, because they’re constructing the epicenter now, I hear a lot of Spanish speaking. I just think about, “Wow.” I saw three kids the other day who were kind of my age, and they were working on it. I was like, “I wish you guys could be in my position.” It makes me think that there’s potential, but I know that Mexicans–with me being Mexican–but Hispanics as well– we go through different struggles, and it takes one person to be able to lead that, but they have to get educated first. My mom brought a lot of education to me. She made me start reading since I was at a really young age, like higher-level books like The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. I will always remember that book because I read it when I was in junior high. I know it started with my mom, you know, but a lot of my cousins didn’t have that same mindset put into them, so they started working in, say, construction or something. So I know it’s hard, and their chain continues to be the same way. I was fortunate enough to be able to leave that chain and start a new one, but they continued the same way. And I just feel like, “When is it going to change on a grander scale?” and have different professors on campus, and me being able to see more diversity. But it’s very hard. It’s one of those things where I’m like, “I wish,” but a wish really big enough to actually make a change for it, you know? It’s something that just needs to be– It’s starting with me now, and it’s just gonna hopefully make a ripple effect and stuff like that. I wish there was more. I really do because I know that we have the potential to. We’re able to construct so many things. I know that when people come to the U.S., actually having to cross a border, I’m like, “You’ve done so much. You can do even more.” Even though it’s hard to put education into their mindset because they’re just trying to find a way to survive. But it’s a new generation, and I feel like this new generation can actually not stay in the same chain but go into a different route and pursue higher education. We have so many– I know that we have a lot of help and stuff like that, but sometimes it’s just like they’re lazy to search for scholarships or something, you know, or find different things, or their parents don’t give them the support. I do feel like parents are a big part of whether somebody decides to go to college or not. Seeing how the majority are white, their parents have already been in college, so they know how to navigate it. They know how to do it. [Unintelligible] It’s normal for them, but, at times, like, that’s not normal for us. Their parents started a long time ago and continued that chain, but for us, it’s barely starting. So, you know, it’s kind of hard and sad to see that. I mean, there’s always room for change. I still have hope that things will change eventually within the next couple years, but I know it’s not going to be really easy to get to that point and change that so . . .

Lux: It’s so frustrating and challenging, from my perspective, where our faculty– it’s very homogeneous, and that creates a lot of injustices for folks on campus because we aren’t hearing a diversity of voices or having faculty who have these lived experiences as people of color or folks from underserved groups, it does impact the way they teach. 

Janet: And, you know, they don’t really see your story. They don’t really see your point of view, and that’s so hard. I remember in high school, I would be able to vibe more with teachers, you know. But here, it’s not the same way. I mean, we have to go through those challenges. It’s just one of those things where some of us have to go through it so that others don’t maybe have to go through it the same way. But those who– like us, being first-gen, it makes it even more difficult to go through that because sometimes we don’t even know what to expect. And then we’re here. And it’s an eye-opener. It’s definitely an eye-opener. There are some things that change and some things that stay the same, but we’re here for four years. Some of us are here for four years to get our Bachelors and stuff like that. So it’s like four years of your life where you have to deal with that, you know?

Lux: Yeah, like, daily, and that has a huge impact on your well-being. 

Janet: And it really does. I remember I told my mom, “We need to talk every single day because I’m not talking the same amount of Spanish like I used to before.” Spanish was my first language because I once had to go to Mexico before I was five so I learned Spanish there. And my mom was like, “You’re going to learn English either way when you start school.” But being up here, I don’t talk Spanish on the same scale like I used to before.

Jimena: I felt that, and it’s scary because you’re like, “I don’t want to forget.”

Lux: Yeah! It’s a huge piece of your identity. You don’t want to lose that. 

Janet: Exactly. Exactly. You know, and I remember in high school, I’d be talking so much Spanish. My mom would be like, “When did you learn that?” Even one of my vice principals–him and I were really, really close, and he talked Spanish because his wife was Colombian. We would always be talking in Spanish. [Quick exchange in Spanish] And we’d have Spanish conversations. But up here, it’s so hard. Especially in the business school, where I don’t really get to see people like that. I’m like, my Spanish is different, you know? That’s why I’m like, every single word–I’m like, “Hola Mami– cómo estás?”–like talking in Spanish, you know. Also, checking up on, you know, reporting myself in, like, “I woke up this morning” you know, and stuff like that, and I know it also makes her feel better as well. 

Lux: Yeah, I guarantee it does.

Janet: Yeah. Those things, I’m always just like, “Wow.” I remember–because I live at Lassonde and the [unintelligible] center is right next to it, and I have to park at the U parking, so I have to walk a little bit. And I remember when I was going to the gym in the mornings a lot more, there would always be, like– I remember there was this adult, like– he was working there, and I’d see him almost every other day, and he’d be like, “Hola, mija! Buenos días!” you know? And it just–even though he was working there–it just made me so happy. It was just a different way that somebody was talking to me. 

Jimena: Yeah, finding those people on campus. It has happened to me. There’s an older lady– she’s a custodian at the Union, and she’s always telling me, like, “Hola, mija! Cómo estás?” And it’s just like, “Oh my gosh, she’s here,” and they’re so loving. It’s just so sweet. 

Janet: It really, really is, you know. And it’s just like, even though he’s probably working here at the U, but just having that “Hola, mija! Cómo estás?” It’s just like, “Estoy muy bien. Y cómo estás?” . . . we’d just have this little conversation like, “Oh, Cómo va el edificio?” How’s the building going? And stuff like that. It was just so wholesome to me because it made me feel like I was me for a good second. And I feel like I don’t get that many “me” seconds throughout the week.

Lux: As far as feeling a sense of belonging, do you feel like the university is effective at helping folks feel like they belong here?

Janet: You know, I feel like to some extent, I could see them trying to, you know. Like there’s different things and stuff like that. But you know it’s– effective-wise? I don’t know if it’s, like, on a grand scale, you know? I know there’s different communities, like LGBTQ, you know? Like there’s all these different organizations and stuff like that. So, like, obviously, we’re the ones that are supposed to go there to kind of get involved and stuff like that. So I know there’s different programs and stuff. I’m part of LSU so, like . . . there, we put on those events and stuff like that, which is nice and everything, but it doesn’t compare to seeing, like, the sororities or something like that.

Lux: Right! Yeah!

Jimena: Oh my gosh. Literally.

Janet: It’s like– they’re, like, such on a grand scale, you know? You can just tell with, like, the, the election that just happened, you know? Like going back to like [unintelligible], you know? Like, what do they have in common? It’s just one of those things that’s just, like, you know– they might seem like up here [gestures with hand] with just like such a grand population, you know, while others are just, like on a lower scale and stuff like that. It’s just kind of, like, hard to kind of see how, that how that is. But yeah, I mean, I can see like the intent there, you know, that there’s like– they want to put like– try to do such things like that, but it’s not on the same grand scale as other things. 

Jimena: It’s almost, like, not marketed to students because, like, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen these groups, but the office of admissions– they do tours for incoming students that are still in high school, and they always talk about being involved and how the majority of the campus is involved with Greek life. But they never talk about resources, like, or involvement with the LGBT community or First-Gen Scholars, LSU . . . Like, they never talk about those, and I’m like, “Yeah, you’re missing such a giant group here.”

Lux: Yeah!

Janet: And you know, like, based off of that, they’re fresh– they’re, like, you know, seniors in high school, you know? Whether we have, like, people of color in those groups, it’s, like, kind of hard to just hear “sorority.” 

Jimena: 100%

Janet: Yeah, because there’s– yeah, there’s an image, you know? There’s an image there already, you know? And like–

Lux:…a long tradition of this, like, upholding a very specific identity.

Janet: Exactly. Exactly, you know? If I were to be in this [unintelligible], I’d be like, “What am I gonna be doing there?” Or something like that, you know? So, like, I know that everybody’s different, but I feel like I personally wouldn’t want to be in such a group.

Jimena: I would not bond just being in that group, being a scared senior in high school, being like, “Oh, yeah, where are my people? Like, you’re not telling me.”

Janet: Exactly. Exactly, you know? That can also be, like, a way that the U isn’t really helping, and like embracing and bringing new people into the university. So it’s– there’s just many different things. And I’m just like, “Oh, you know, like, I don’t really vibe.” Like– I’m like, “I don’t, I don’t really click, you know?” And I definitely feel like a major part is if you don’t find people where you kind of really click like that. It’s kind of really hard to kind of maneuver with different things because you’re just like . . . you know, like I said, there’s some people that are not okay with being alone, yet they have to be alone and stuff like that. So . . .” 

Lux: Yeah, and that is a hard situation to weather and maintain your mental health. Very, very challenging. 

Janet: Yeah, mental health is a big thing.

Lux: So yeah . . . as far as– let me get one more– maybe a couple more questions.

Janet: Don’t worry. I got time.

Lux: How has being first gen impacted your social and emotional well being on campus?

Janet: Well, you know– like I said, being first-gen, there’s just like a bunch of different groups where they’re already, you know . . . like their parents, grandparents have already been here, so it’s kind of really hard to compare to them. But the even harder thing is that you actually start comparing yourself to them. So it’s just kind of like, once that you start comparing to yourself, you’re just putting yourself down, you know? So it’s, like, it’s really hard, you know? They’re calling their parents, “Oh, Dad, what classes–?” or “Mom, what classes should I take?” And they help them to take it. While I have to go to somebody else or find a person to help me, like, “Okay, what classes do I have to take next?” In this way, it’s hard, you know? With social life, you know . . . social life is a big part of a human being.

Lux: Absolutely.

Janet: Yeah, I love to be very social. I’m– I feel like I’m a pretty bubbly person and stuff like that. I like to have conversations. But, you know, there’s just some people where I’m just like, I can’t get a conversation, you know? I’m like, what do we talk about? And…whether it’s just, like, they’re in a different status than me or something like that. But I’m just like, “Ugh,” you know? Being able to go into the First-Gen [Scholars] building–and actually I was there today–and I was just talking with them, and it just felt really nice, you know? I’m like, “I, like, click with you guys” you know? 

Janet: And it’s like– even like a simple “good morning”–I’ve noticed that when I’m in offices that are predominantly white or just people that are different to me, they don’t say “good morning,” and it’s so weird. But then I walk into First-Gen [Scholars], and Joana will be like, “Good morning!” and, like, so happy and everything. And it’s just the small, little things like that . . . they make such a huge difference.

Lux: They really do, you know? They make a huge difference within, like, just your day.

Jimena: Yeah! 

Janet: You never really think about it. I’m just, like…you know it’s such little things, where like…I don’t know if it’s whether we just have different values or just, like, if we grew up differently than, like, the predominantly white people, but, like, in my culture, I’m always saying, like, you have to say “hi” to everybody, you know? You have to be nice and stuff like that, you know? And I don’t know if they grew up with that or not, you know? But I’m just like, it doesn’t take that much effort, you know, to do such a thing. So I’m just like, when they don’t do it, I’m just like, “Okay, fine then.”

Jimena: Yeah, it throws you off. It’s like, “Fine, whatever” . . .

Janet: “I didn’t want anything. I didn’t want a ‘good morning’ from you either way,” you know? But going into somewhere else where it’s just, like . . . you know, you have that purpose, like, “Oh, buenos días!” you know? Or like, “Good morning!” . . . It’s just like, “Oh, you know, like . . .”

Lux: Oh, it totally makes a huge difference. You’re being acknowledged. Otherwise, you’re, you  know . . . I could feel like a piece of furniture if I’m just walked past with no greeting or something.

Janet: Yeah, exactly, you know. And it’s something we don’t really think about, which is kind of, you know, what I think about. I’m just like, “Hmm . . .” you know? But now that we’re actually talking about it, I’m just like well like you know I think I’m at it on a grander scale and I’m just like, “That’s so true.” 

Lux: Yeah, it has such a big impact on your, your day–and not just your day, but like those days add up, right? So it ends up being your experience.

Janet: Most definitely, yeah.

Lux: So one last question for you: If you were to talk to a group or even an individual student who’s first-gen and preparing to go to the university, what would you want to say to them?

Janet: I feel like I’d want to be honest with them– at the same time, like, hype them up, but be honest with them at the same time. We all know that, coming into higher education, it’s gonna be hard, you know? But we don’t really know…So I definitely feel like I’d want to congratulate them and be like, you know, “You did it!” Because, whether or not…once you get that acceptance letter, it’s a big thing. It’s really is a big thing, you know? Because like my mom said,  not everybody can get that, you know? Not everybody can be here so, like, I definitely know it’s a big thing to congratulate them and be like, “Hey, you did it!” you know? Like, “You’ve already come this far. Now it’s time to get ready for the big stuff.” There’s gonna be, like, a lot of things you’re gonna have to go through…I was like, “You’re gonna have to go through challenges, you know? But they’re just gonna make you a bigger person.” I was like, “At the end of the day, they’re really are gonna make you a bigger person.” You’re gonna look back and you’re gonna be like, “Dang. I did that.” 

Lux: Yeah! “I grew a lot!”

Janet: “I did that!” and stuff like that. And then going on forward, I would want to tell them like, “Okay, there’s this, and this, and this and that,” you know? I went through, like, having to find First-Gen Scholars, you know? I remember Yovanni was the one that came up to me and told me, “Join!” And I’m like, “Okay!” And then after that, it was him . . . whether they’re doing it in the business school, I’ve already been able to find something, or find people there. And I could pass that on forward to you. So I definitely want to give that to them, you know? Because it’s like– and it’s not that I had to go through a [unintelligible] that’s just making it easier for them, but maybe they’ll be able to learn something new and then pass that on to them…I always say, like, start that new chain. Try to pass that on and keep it going because then that would help motivate them, and maybe they’re motivated to help the other person. But I definitely know that telling them they have to be proud of themselves. “There’s gonna be hard times, you know? It’s okay to cry,” you know? I’m like, “It’s okay to cry, but, like, you’ve already come this far and you can go even further. This is just the beginning”…like my mom– my dad actually said this, “It’s four years of sacrifice. A grand sacrifice of going through tears, going through ups, going through downs, going through failures, going through, like, good moments . . . meeting good people. But it’s like…the four years of college where you have to push through your school, get your work done, learn a lot of things, you know? Those four years depend what the rest of your 40 years are gonna be.” Whether you say…it’s only four years or however many…It’s like the first four years are gonna depend a lot on what I do for, like, the next 40 years of my life. And 4 years is a lot, you know? And I feel like it’s kind of good to put that into their mind and be like, “Do what you’re gonna be good with doing, that you’ll be satisfied doing. Because that’s a long time where you’re gonna have to be doing whatever you’re gonna be studying.” I know that another thing is that there’s so many majors at the university, you know? There’s so many. But some of them are not gonna be as impacting or gonna give you the lifestyle that you might want. So I also know that it’s, like, very important to kind of give them those honesty things. I’m like, “Okay, you know, there’s gonna be something where, if you want to go big, you’re gonna have to see what works.” You want to have a balance of, like, something that you’ll like and maybe give you money, where you can live a stable life. It’s like, “Oh, I want to do this.” But how are you gonna live off of that, you know? I feel like that sometimes one of the things is like we have so many majors, and they tell us all of these majors. But they don’t– sometimes, some of them don’t really tell us like, “Oh, this is the job you’re gonna be having after,” you know? So I feel like it’s very important for them to know, as incoming freshmen, you need to keep that in mind. And I feel like that’s just one of those things because like, like I said, like, the school life is so much different than the outside life, having to live that actual job, you know?…I know that there’s people, like– they’re already paying rent and stuff like that. But it’s just so much different because you’re, like, in a totally different lifestyle than you were when you were in college, so…It’s something that, at the end of the day, they should be proud of. At the end of the day, we go through our struggles, but, you know, we’re the ones going through it, so we have to be our own cheerleaders as well to kind of keep pushing forward and be bigger people and be doing so many more things that, you know, the white people also have been able . . . given the chance to you know? They’re doing it, you know? Why can’t we do it, you know?…It’s just like my dad always told me, he was like, “Make sure to keep your Spanish,” you know? “Porque tu ya tienes dos lenguas, you know? You already have two languages while they only have one, you know? So you’re already– you already have something that they don’t have, you know? So why are you stopping when you can do even more?” I think it’s like one of those things where I’m just like, “I never really thought of that,” you know? Especially if they’re coming in with two languages, I’m like, “Baby, why are you feeling down, you know?” I’m like, “Look at you! You’re already dominating two languages…you can do so much more, you know? So don’t let it stop there.” 

Lux: I agree, and it seems like first-gen students have so many skills, navigating these giant systems, where . . . continuing generation students? Maybe they think they have these skills, until they try to engage them. Navigating a large system is not something that’s unfamiliar to you. So, like, you come here with a lot of skills and traits that continuing-generation students just do not have, you know?

Janet:…I feel, like, depending on your household, you know? Like I feel like we obviously, like, live in like different households and, like, I had to work for a lot of my things, you know? 

Lux: Yeah.

Janet: While I know a lot of other people, they’re just, like, it’s given to them, you know, like that girl with the BMW. 

Jimena: If anything, I feel like it makes us appreciate the things that we have so much more, compared to, like, other people on this campus because it’s like . . . for example, that girl with the BMW. She’s saying it so lightly, but, like, for me, I don’t even have a car. So it’s like, “How are you just saying that like it’s nothing? . . . It’s like you’re buying, like, a candy bar or something.” It’s mind-blowing.

Janet: It really is. And I’m just like, it’s one of those things we’ve learned all these, like, different habits, you know . . . like learned to appreciate things in our own households, you know?

Jimena: Like, take care of the things you’re buying because it’s your hard work, your hard-earned money so, like, you have to care for it. 

Janet: Exactly, and I just feel like one of the things that’s just missing is just actually, like, inculcándoles, like, la educación, you know? Ora, mija, you know? Vas a tener que ser esto, you know? Like, mante tus grados bien, or something like that because I’m…that’s actually very important to actually keep going and, like, do the things that they need to do, so yeah . . . and, you know, hopefully being a place like I’m fortunate enough to be as well, so yeah.

Lux: Thank you so much. This has been really beautiful and so insightful. 

Janet: Thank you, guys.