Interviewer: Lux Darkbloom 
Interview Subject: Jimena Prieto Andrew 

Lux: Thank you for meeting with me today, Jimena. To begin with, could you tell me a little bit about your life and your story? Just anything you would like listeners to know about you? 

Jimena: Yeah. I feel like I…dang, we’ve done this so much that I’m like, “Ah, how do I answer?” [Jimena acted as the co-interviewer for many First-Gen Voices interviews.] I feel like I’ve had a really good upbringing, you know. My parents always working super hard, but there was always that notion of like, “Okay, if you want to not do my job,” which– a little context, my dad works in construction. So even right now it’s super cold outside, but he’s working outside, you know. My mom, I think at one point was cleaning houses and clinics and things like that. So they always said, “Hey, if you don’t want to do something like this, you have to study, you have to do something with your life.” I don’t think they necessarily ever gave me like, “You have to be a doctor, you have to be a lawyer.” They were like, “Hey, you have to find whatever makes you happy. And we’re so happy with that. Whatever it is, we just ask that you do what you genuinely want in life and something that, you know, you aren’t going to be essentially miserable in.” So they’ve always been super supportive about me choosing whatever path I’ve wanted, but definitely when I was like, “Okay, I’m going to go to college,” they were so excited. 

Lux: That’s so cool. I love that. That they’re just like, “We want you to follow your dream and do the thing with your life that would make you feel like you’re leading a meaningful– a life that makes you happy.”

Jimena: Yeah, they’ve always been like that. And so when I started expressing like, “Hey, I want to be a doctor,” they were like, “Okay, what do we do to support you? What do we have to do to get you there?” They’ve also instilled in me, you know, like working hard, like nothing that is good or, like, an amazing opportunity will come easily. So I think I’ve always been really grateful for them since they’ve always just supported me to do whatever I want. But yeah, I guess that’s a little bit about me. I want to go into med school eventually, hopefully soon. 

Lux: Do you have siblings, Jimena?

Jimena: I do. So I have a younger brother. He is 20-years-old, or he’s about to turn 20 actually in February. So he’s 19. And we’re three years apart. And then I have a younger sister. And by younger, I mean younger. She is seven-years-old. So there’s a 16-year age gap between me and her, which is pretty crazy. But I love her to death. She’s so sassy. 

Lux: I’m the product of an age gap situation, too, but it’s only ten years between me and my siblings. 

Jimena: But it’s still a big age gap. 

Lux: It sure is. Sixteen years, though! What do your siblings think about you being in school?

Jimena: My brother is like, “Wow, that’s like so cool, but school’s not for me.” And my parents were like, “You know what, if that’s not for you, that’s okay.” My sister, on the other hand, she loves it. She says, “I want to go be like Nena. I want to go!” Because they call me Nena. She’s always saying, “Oh my God, you go to school! You go to school still!” She’s so happy [about it]. And she’s always saying how she wants to go to university as well. And I’m like, “Wow, that’s super cool.” But yeah, in her mind, she thinks I’m still in school. 

Lux: Gotcha. 

Jimena: Because I work on campus. So she still thinks I work in school. 

Lux: Yeah, it’s a little confusing when you’re that age, but it’s so cool that she’s looking to you like, “Oh my God, that’s so cool. My big sister is in school. I want to do that”. I love that. 

Jimena: Yeah, no, she tries to mimic me a lot. For example, I love reading, and over the weekend I was actually just reading on my Kindle, and she was like, “Wait, wait! I want to read with you, too.” And she went to go get her book, and she’s there reading, sounding out her words. So yeah, I love them to death. 

Lux: That’s so sweet. So you did mention that you finished your bachelor’s degree. Remind me what your bachelor’s degree is in.

Jimena: Yes, so I double majored. So the first one is in Health, Society, and Policy. And then the other one is Psychology.

Lux: Very cool. And you are looking toward medical school in the future, just waiting to hear back at this point. 

Jimena: Yeah. During my undergrad, I had a really, really good first two years, you know, on the pre-med track doing the volunteering, the shadowing, the– doing all the things, right? But I think it got to a point where I just hit a wall and I burnt out at this time. I was also a biomedical engineering major. So I was taking really difficult classes, plus all the pre-med classes. So I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was hating my experience. And I know “hate” is a strong word, but I was like bottom of the barrel, really struggling going through it. And it took me talking to a lot of people to realize that taking a step back is okay. And I think it took me up until the beginning of my junior year, spring semester. Because, you know, being first-gen, I was like, “I can’t give up. I’m gonna be weak, and I’m gonna disappoint so many people.” And so at that time I just decided to take a break from pre-med. I graduated. So I’m just going back to complete a few pre-reqs that I still need. But now definitely with a better head space and mindset.

Lux: Yeah, absolutely. I think that’s so important to kind of check in with yourself, especially if you, like you said, like you hated that program at that point. It can’t be super productive to force yourself through it if you’re like, “I am just not sure about this.”

Jimena: Yes, and it got to the point where I really tried to force myself to stay in it because I was like, “I’m going to disappoint my parents. I’m going to be the biggest failure if I stop,” that my grades started dropping, and I just hit a wall. And I think I had a meltdown on campus in my car, just sobbing hysterically. I was like, “I cannot do this anymore.” So I ended up going to the counseling center and reaching out for help, asking for help. And that was something really hard for me because, you know, I’m so used to doing everything by myself and figuring out everything myself. My parents don’t know any of this, right? It’s me figuring everything out. So I was like, “I’m going to look like a failure if I ask for help.” So it took a lot of learning to be like, “No, you’re just going through a process, and you’re going to be fine, and everything’s going to be fine. And my plan that I set out for myself is changing, and that’s okay.”

Lux: Absolutely. Absolutely. I think for a lot of first-gen students, there’s like this huge sense–and in actions–self-sufficiency because you have navigated all of these complex systems already without anybody walking you through it or advising or anything like that. So yeah, there’s like a lot of internal pressure and perceived external pressure, too, because I mean in that moment, I’m sure that felt so . . .

Jimena: Big.

Lux: Big, yeah! 

Jimena: Yes, to me it was like the world was ending, and it took a while to realize…especially now that I’m on the other side of it. I’m like, “I wish I could go back and hug myself and be like, ‘You’re fine.’” I also remember telling my parents, like, “I’m going to take a break off school. I can’t do this.” After I graduated, I remember, I was like, “They’re going to be so mad at me.” I just remember them hugging me and being like, “It’s okay, you know. If that’s what you need right now, you’re fine.” And I’m like, [sigh of relief]. And granted, don’t get me wrong, there are still some days where I’m still so frustrated. Because sometimes I feel like I’m stuck, and I’m not doing what I want to be doing. But I’m definitely better at reeling myself in and being like, “You know what? It’s fine.” Something that my mom likes to say is “Todo a su tiempo.” So everything will come in time. Let’s not rush anything. It will happen when it needs to happen.

Lux: Yeah, that’s really good advice, too, and very encouraging for self-compassion.

Jimena: Yes, a hundred percent.

Lux: So you were talking a little bit earlier about like the first couple of years and how challenging those were, but I was wondering if you could go back even further to just like your first semester on campus and what you remember about that. 

Jimena: So I didn’t have a first semester on campus cause I started college when it was COVID.

Lux: Oh my God, yeah. 

Jimena: So it was in that weird phase of social distancing, but you still couldn’t really be out and about. So for me, all my classes were online or through Zoom with the exception of one class. And I remember walking into class with my face mask and the professor had blocked out chairs. So it was me, and I was sitting by two chairs with no one in them. So it was like someone, and then a chair, and then another person. You couldn’t take your mask off, you know? So it was very interesting. I did pretty much my first two semesters all online. And during that semester, I just cranked out a lot of my general eds. So when, you know, everyone decided to be like, “Okay, like COVID, we’ve got it pretty under control. People should be getting vaccinated and everything,” you know. I made sure to get vaccinated. So this is my second year, and it is, you know, the fall semester, but I feel like a freshman because I don’t know where anything is on campus. So it was this really weird [situation]. Like academically, I’m a second-year, but to campus and resources…I don’t know where I’m going because my orientation was also online. It was a Canvas course module. So at that time I was like, quarantine feels like it’s been here for forever. So I just did the Canvas course, not thinking anything of it moving forward. So when I got to campus, yeah, I didn’t know where anything was. 

Lux: What was that like? How did you figure out your way around?

Jimena: I am definitely a very anxious person sometimes. So for example, going onto campus, I would pull up the map and make sure I knew where I was going. Something that my parents also helped me with is that I think one or two days before the semester started, we went to campus with my class schedule to look for all my classes so I knew where I was going. It helped me a little bit, you know, kind of ease into it, if you will. But then I also became part of First-Gen Scholars around this time. And in this program, you know, they bring in a lot of different resources. You’re paired up with mentors. So to me, that was great because I was like, “Oh my gosh, I’m getting all this knowledge that I should have gotten during orientation.” Because again, I didn’t even know about the Learning Center. I don’t think I even went into the library because it was so intimidating until I joined First-Gen Scholars. It was like being in that class and, you know, pushing myself out of my comfort zone to just chat it up with people [and] ask questions, that I was really able to figure it out, you know?

Lux: Yeah, I think that makes a lot of good sense, and it’s good strategizing, too. How did you first hear about First-Gen Scholars?

Jimena: It was actually on Instagram.

Lux: No way!

Jimena: Somebody, a former leader from the class actually posted, like, “Join the class.” And I think the only reason why I was following that individual is because I knew I was going back to campus. So I was following the University of Utah Instagram page. And so at that time, the algorithm from Instagram was giving me a lot of people that were attending the U. And on a whim, I was just following people. I was like, “Who knows? What if I become friends with these people?” or, you know, you never know. And I saw this individual posted that, and I was like, so I actually DMed them and asked them a few questions about the program. And then next thing I know, I’m enrolled and I’m walking into class.

Lux: That’s so wild. Were you nervous at all?

Jimena: I was definitely nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. I also didn’t really have any friends at this point because this was my first class where you can go to campus and actually interact with people. It was also a two-hour long class at the time. So to me, I was like, “Oh my gosh, what am I going to do, talking to people for two hours? What is this class going to look like?” So it was definitely a little intimidating, to say the least.

Lux: For sure. For sure. So kind of backtracking a little bit. When you were in the thinking-about-going-to-college phase, I was wondering if there are any specific people or experiences that played a role in that decision.

Jimena: Not necessarily, besides my parents. You know, they haven’t had the easiest life, and I’m like, “Oh, what can I do to help them?” Did I know what I wanted to do exactly before going into college or anything? No idea. But I was like, “I know I have to do this not only for myself, but for my siblings, my parents,” because, you know, I know they would be really proud of me, but also I know no one’s going to do it for me.

Lux: Yeah.

Jimena: No one’s out there being like, “Yeah, let me just hand you everything. Let me just go through college for you.” You know what I mean?

Lux: Yeah.

Jimena: So a lot of it was also just myself being like, “Okay, I need to do this for my family, but also for myself.” I feel like, a lot of the time, first-gen students forget that, “Hey, you’re also important.” It’s not just about giving, giving, giving. So to me, at that time, it was like, “Okay, I’m doing this for them, but also for myself.” So I remember I reached out to a college access advisor at the time in my high school, and they kind of walked me through everything. They helped me fill out the FAFSA form because I was terrified to do it on my own because I was like, “What if I commit tax fraud?”

Lux: Ugh, I understand that.

Jimena: And it was so complicated at the time that I was like, “What? How do I fill this out?” You know?

Lux: Yes, that is so real. I remember feeling that myself, and I had to be much older than you. I was probably in my mid 20s when I was experiencing that, and I was just like, “I don’t know how this is done. This looks like taxes.” [Laughs]

Jimena: Yes. And I just remember going to this college advisor with my parents’ taxes. I’m like, “Okay, here. I don’t know what any of this means. I’m so confused.” And I remember it was me and my mom and this college advisor in her tiny, little office filling out the FAFSA form and walking me through the Common app.

Lux: Yeah, the one that can submit multiple applications.

Jimena: Yes, and I remember she told me, “Hey, you don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket. So try to apply to a good chunk.” But at the time, I was like, “Well,I have one or two options. I’m going to go to SLCC and then transfer to the U, or I’m going to go to the U with a scholarship.” I did not want to go to any other university. First off, distance. I was not going to live on campus. It was too expensive. And my parents weren’t helping me with school because they couldn’t. It was a lot of money. So I still had to live at home. So the furthest that I could do was the U–I couldn’t do anything further–or SLCC. And at this time, I was like, “Okay, let’s game plan.” So she helped me, you know, learn about loans, learn about scholarships. Because that was my plan. I was going to do a mix of scholarships and loans, plus my Pell Grant from FAFSA. Well, it turns out at this time the For Utah scholarship came out. So this college advisor was like, “Come on, like you should do it. You should really try to aim for the U.” And then I remember going to information sessions because this was the first time that they brought out the For Utah scholarship. And so, at that point, in my mind, that’s when I was like, “Okay, the U is definitely an option. I can definitely do this. It’s going to work out.” So it was kind of, I guess, her, but more so myself.

Lux: Yeah, totally. I think that that makes a lot of sense, because, like you said, so often you get in that headspace of like, “I don’t want to disappoint anybody. I need to do this so that, you know, my parents’ sacrifices–they’ll understand that they meant something to me.” So, yeah, that pressure is intense, to say the least.

Jimena: Oh, 100 percent.

Lux: What would you say were some of the influences on like choosing your major or your career path?

Jimena: I think, honestly, I feel like at first it was a lot of outside influence. That’s why I ended up going with biomedical engineering. Again, not necessarily[pressure] from my parents, but just from, you know, advisors. I remember meeting with a few advisors and they were like, “Yeah, for example, with psychology, you’re going to have to do a lot of schooling afterwards. But then with engineering, you can just start working out the gate. You don’t have to go to grad school or anything.

Lux: Gotcha.

Jimena: And so, for me, it was always like, “Okay, I need to find something that is a backup plan.” And when I was told psychology or the not super STEM-heavy classes would typically require more schooling, I was like, “I can’t. I need something that could guarantee me a job out of college.” So I did it for two years, and I just realized that…I did enjoy it for a bit, but it got to a point where it was just too much. And so that’s when I decided like, “You know what? Let me switch to something that I would enjoy.” And I had taken some general ed classes that were part of the Health, Society, and Policy major, and I just fell in love with the major. I feel like it gave me the liberty to express my interests and also see what I was really interested in. So, for example, I took an economics class and how that related to health care and finance and all of that stuff from the healthcare side. But then it was also health, so like what environmental factors affect people and their health? So to me, I was like, “Okay, I found it. I’ve really enjoyed this. I feel like I can definitely relate to it.” Because, again, in the back of my mind, I was like, “I’m going to go to med school.” So I, at least, want to enjoy what I’m studying right now, you know? And then I realized that a lot of the psychology courses were overlapping with Health, Society, and Policy so then I started taking a bunch of psych courses. And then I realized, “Wait, I can get a major out of this!” Met with an advisor, and they were like, “Yeah, a lot of the classes you’re taking actually can count for both majors.” And I really enjoyed psychology, so I was like, “Oh, my gosh, let me just major in it.” 

Lux: Yeah.

Jimena: So, yeah, I was kind of like that.

Lux: Yeah, I think that when you find what fits you, you can definitely feel it, right? Like you said, you just started to enjoy those classes and felt a connection there, where before it just felt like struggle in a way.

Jimena: Yes.

Lux: Oh, I can relate. [Laughs] So, the next few questions, we’re going to talk more about practical stuff, specifically the financial side of things. And we’ve talked about this a little bit already, and you mentioned that you had done FAFSA. And you did get the For Utah scholarship–is that right?

Jimena: Yes.

Lux: And that covers everything, like it’s a full-ride.

Jimena: Yes. It’s really weird. It’s a really weird scholarship, which– don’t get me wrong. I am so grateful for it because I think, all in all, my four years out of pocket, I think I paid a total of $1000/$1500, which to me, I’m like, “Dang, my two degrees cost me $1500!” To me, that’s pretty good.

Lux: That’s wild. Yeah.

Jimena: Yes. So in order to qualify for the scholarship, you needed a Pell Grant. So I was lucky enough that I got a pretty good chunk of, you know, the Pell Grant. And then I think it was a few days later after I got accepted, the For Utah scholarship, like I got a notification that I was eligible, and that I would be receiving it. So essentially what would happen is, you know, I would enroll in my classes, and I needed at least 12 credits. I couldn’t fall below, I think, a 3.0 GPA. And so the only thing the scholarship didn’t cover were books. But at the time that I started at the U, they weren’t doing a lot of physical books. They were doing the e-books or . . . I can’t remember what they’re called, but essentially they’re included in my tuition. So in a weird way, the For Utah [scholarship] was paying for my books. And then it wouldn’t cover housing, which to me, wasn’t an issue because I was still living at home. So it is a “last dollar” scholarship. So what would happen is that, you know, FAFSA would kick in, and then I would get a hold on my account. And essentially, the reason why I would get a hold is because the scholarship waits for all of your financial aid to be in. So, let’s say I would have gotten another scholarship, they would have decreased the For Utah scholarship.

Lux: Gotcha. Because there can’t be overlap, essentially, right?

Jimena: Yes. And my first two semesters, I did get some random scholarships. I can’t remember the names, unfortunately, of them, but it was like $1000 here and there. So my first two years, I did get some money back, which I put into savings because I was like, “What if I need to pay something out of pocket?” So I used that money to pay out of pocket. But yeah, essentially my whole college was paid for.

Lux: That is amazing. I’m so glad because tuition is pretty astronomical.

Jimena: Yes, it is. It is crazy. I’m like, oh my gosh.

Lux: It really is. And I mean, I’ve been at the university for about 18 years now, and we see [tuition] increases–

Jimena: I mean, even in the parking. Yeah. For a parking permit. I’m like, this is so unfair.

Lux: Agreed.

Jimena: I don’t know. Do they think I’m growing a money tree or something?…I don’t understand. I don’t understand why it’s so expensive. It’s also hard to find parking after a certain point. I remember as a student, I feel like I had to get here so early–earlier than necessary–to just get a spot.

Lux: Yeah, and that’s a tradition that continues to this day, unfortunately. And like you mentioned, too, the cost of on-campus housing is pretty astronomical. I spoke with another first-gen student who said that it was something like $13,000 for a semester of on-campus housing.

Jimena: Yeah. That’s insane. To me, that’s a lot of money.

Lux: Yeah!

Jimena: And I cannot afford that. There’s just no way.

Lux: Same. I mean, I couldn’t afford it. That is a huge, huge barrier. So I’m really glad that there are an assortment of scholarships out there. And in my opinion, not speaking for the library or anything, I think the tuition is just way too high for it to be, you know, accessible to the greatest number of people, instead of just folks who can afford to pay. So, yeah, pretty frustrating.

Jimena: I would agree.

Lux: Did you go to school and work at the same time? Did you have a part- time job or anything?

Jimena: My first two years, I didn’t. Well, actually, just kidding. My first job was actually at the Union, and I got this job my second year during the spring semester, I think. So I was in my second year at this point. I felt like I needed to be more involved on campus. But it was also really hard for me because I was commuting 40 minutes to campus. So for me, it was like, “Okay, I’m going to go do my classes, and then leave,” because I had no other reason to stay there. But then I was also like, “Dang, gas money is getting so expensive.” Again, I’m commuting 40 minutes to [the university] and 40 minutes from [the university]. It’s just too much. And granted, my parents were helping me. But I decided to start applying for on campus jobs, and I ended up getting one at the union, just like the front desk, just like greeting people coming into the building and giving out directions like, “Oh, yeah, you’re looking for the dean of students. Go take a right and down the hall.” Things like that.

Lux: How did that work out with balancing your school schedule and then any other obligations you had?

Jimena: Yeah, so the great thing about the union and working with them as a student [is that] they were incredibly flexible with my schedule. So I was not getting scheduled during my classes. It was only when I was available, and then I was able to pick how many hours I wanted to work. So I could either work one or two shifts or, you know, when you’re a student, you can work up to like 19, 20 hours. So typically I was working the full 20 hours, and then I was just saving up that money as much as I could just in case I need to pay [for] something, I have this money, so I was also using that money for gas and things. But other than that, that money was just all going into savings because I mean, at home, my parents were helping me with everything. And, you know, I would help out here and there, but they always told me like, “Hey, that is your money. You need to save it just in case, you know, something changes, or you don’t qualify for the Pell Grant, or you get your scholarship taken away because they were always really nervous about that. So I was like, “Okay, I need to save.” So I would always save up my paychecks and just use it for gas. 

Lux: That is really wise, honestly. And gas is no small cost either, especially when you’re commuting five days a week. I bet you filled up your gas tank at least once a week, if not more.

Jimena: Oh, yes. And the car that I was driving at the time was a bigger car, and it had a really big engine. So it was taking gas like… I think the most, at one point, gas got super expensive. And I think the most I paid was like $115 for one gas tank. I was mind blown. But also like it didn’t make sense for me to take the Trax. Because the tracks– the nearest station to my house was also 30 minutes away.

Lux: Oh, my goodness, yeah.

Jimena: So I’m like, okay, either I drive to theTrax for 30 minutes, get on a train, and go an hour to campus–or just drive the extra 10 minutes myself.

Lux: Yeah, exactly. Because it’s always one thing or another. It’s going to cost you time, or it’s going to cost you extra money, if not both, right?

Jimena: Yeah, so a lot of my money was, at that time, going to gas and my transportation.

Lux: That makes a lot of sense. I mean, and probably maintaining your car, too, because of all of that driving.

Jimena: Yes, and when it comes to car things, I am literally just a girl, okay?

Lux: [Laughs]

Jimena: I don’t know anything about it. I always tell this to my dad, “As long as it turns on, and it has gas to get me from Point A to Point B, that’s all I care about.” Other than that, don’t ask me anything about cars. I do not know.

Lux: Well, we are so on the same page. I couldn’t tell you how an engine works, honestly. So the next few questions, we’re going to talk more about the relationships that you developed while on your college journey. Did you feel like there were any key factors or support systems that you found through the university–whether it was on campus or virtually–any folks who were support people?

Jimena: I would definitely say my supervisors at the union. His name is Jeremy Wilkerson. I think that right now he’s the associate director. And then, at that time, I also became a manager, like a student manager for where I was working, so I was really able to get a lot of professional development through, you know, seeing him work, but also all the things that they had us do. So I found a really great community there with the students that I was managing. I learned a lot from them. But also there were two managers, me and another individual, so I was learning a lot from her, but also from Jeremy–how to do things, how to problem solve, how to be essentially more of a professional, starting to learn those ropes because we would be included in the staff meetings with the director for the union. So I think that place really helped me grow and feel more connected to campus. It was also like, “You guys can do it.” Like they were also super understanding of us being students, and sometimes just being a student is hard.

Lux: Yeah.

Jimena: So, you know, I think at the time when I started, Jeremy was also going to grad school for his master’s program. So I was always able to ask them questions like what it was like to get a master’s–or a PhD because I know Brandon Daly, the director, has a PhD. So it was really great to build myself up, if that makes sense. But then more socially and fun, it was First-Gen Scholars and my mentors at the time, which I know you know one of them, Xochitl [Juarez Cardenas].

Lux: Yes, I know Xochitl!

Jimena: She was my mentor, actually, when I first started the program. So it was a lot of spending time there, walking into the space, just talking to people, talking to her, and honestly, just really pushing myself out there to go to resources, ask questions, and not be scared. But yeah, I would say those two things are what really helped me.

Lux: That is so cool. And then you and Xochitl went on to become the leaders of First-Gen Scholars for a year. What was that like? What did that all entail? I know that it involved a lot of curriculum development.

Jimena: Yes, there was so much. We applied together with the intent of being leaders together, if we both got it. So when our plan magically worked, I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is meant to be.” And I feel like I learned a lot from that experience because, obviously, we’re different people. She had her way of doing things, and I had mine. She also had different ideas, and I had mine. So it was a lot of learning how to communicate effectively, learning how to compromise on things, and being okay with that. But yeah, essentially, it was a lot of curriculum building. So we built out the entire curriculum for fall and spring. And at this time, the class was two hours long. So we had to plan for a two-hour class. And at this time, First-Gen [Scholars] blew up, so we had 80 students in one class, in one cohort. So me and Xochitl were like, “Okay, how do we do an informative class with talking and discussion points, but also fun activities where students feel connected and feel like they’re building that community?” Because again, First-Gen [Scholars] is something that really helped her, but it also really helped me. So we wanted to give students the best possible experience that we could. So it was a lot, but then also after building the curriculum, you know, we then had to hire mentors and do mentor retreats to prep them like, “Okay, these are the expectations. This is what we’re going to do.” But that was definitely a learning experience. I think that also helped me be more comfortable with talking to people I don’t know because I had to be in front of a classroom with 80 students looking at me for direction. So I think the first few classes were definitely a little bumpy because I was like, “Oh my God, they really picked me to do this. Why did they pick me? I’m not qualified. Like what?” But then definitely, I think after the fourth class, you know, gaining that confidence. So I think back to the beginning of me doing that in the fall to towards the end, I’m a completely different person.

Lux: Oh yeah. I mean, you and Xochitl did so much–not creating the curriculum, but creating an engaging curriculum. And there were all of these incredible activities. I was so fortunate to be able to be in that class. All of these activities– they really truly created community. And it was something that I, as a faculty member, had never really seen before. And so I just want to give you props for that. That was amazing.

Jimena: And that makes me so happy.

Lux: Yeah, it was great. And I think that all of the students were very into it. And I distinctly remember at the end of class, both you and Xochitl would get so many students approaching you with questions or even just conversation. But it was just this really incredibly tight-knit group of 80 people. And that is no small feat.

Jimena: No, so I remember we felt so good after each class because we’re like, “Oh my God, we did it.”

Lux: Hell yeah!

Jimena: And it’s actually really funny because me and Xochitl– I don’t know if you know this, but we would record ourselves, like a 20-second video before class, talking about our feelings, the thoughts about how class was going to be. And then we would record another one at the end of class. So I essentially have the whole year of how me and her were feeling. And it’s really funny to see the first video of us before the first class being like, “Oh my God, we’re so nervous. Like, what do we do? Like, okay, I’m gonna say this, you’re gonna say this. And this is where we’re gonna stand.” To the very last video being like, “Okay, we’re feeling good. We’re feeling a little sad. This is the last class, but it’s gonna be a good one.” Like, it is so crazy to see the little growth that me and her did. But it was also so nice. And it’s nice to look back.

Lux: Yeah, I think that was so hugely successful. And having been there for those first few classes, too, I would say I totally could not sense that you were nervous, not either one of you. You were so prepared.

Jimena: And that’s crazy, because I remember me and her were like, dying on the inside. Like, “Are we doing a good job?”

Lux: You did so well. I regularly talk about this with my colleagues–about what an impressive program you put together that year. It was amazing.

Jimena: Thank you.

Lux: So continuing kind of in that direction of relationships. You mentioned earlier, it’s not just those relationships that impel you to succeed. It’s a lot of your own, you know, getting yourself through it and believing in yourself. So it just requires all this determination and resourcefulness. And I was wondering how being first-gen shaped your journey at the U?

Jimena: Oh, wow. I feel like it shaped it a lot in the sense of like, I feel like I had to have everything figured out. So for example, when I was going into an advising appointment, essentially, I was going in for reassurance. Like, this is what I’m doing. Because I would go in and I’m like, “Okay, these are the credits I’m missing. These are the classes that I’m taking that complete those credits. But I’m also going to I want to get involved with this because of x, y, and z. Am I doing everything right?” And they would say, “Yes.” So that was essentially my whole undergrad because I was always constantly looking at my own degree audit, looking everything up online that I could possibly scour the internet [for] like, “Okay, am I doing the right thing?”…It’s not necessarily that I felt like I had to do it by myself. But my first semester, I interacted with an advisor, and I was like, “Okay, well, what classes do I pick? Like, how do I know what classes I need to take?” And she just pulls up this giant catalog with thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of classes that the U teaches. And she’s like, “You just scroll through them.”

Lux: What?

Jimena: “Excuse me, what do you mean? I’m a scared freshman during COVID. I don’t know what I’m doing.” And so after that, I feel like I had to take it into my own hands. For example, I think there [are] links on the majors that you pick on the university’s website, and you click on it, and it’ll have like a four-year plan with the classes you need. So I would take those classes and work them into my schedule. And I was really proactive and being really involved in picking the classes that I wanted to be taking, looking up at flyers that were posted around campus for scholarships and things like that. Because I felt like, yeah, advisors were just like, “Eh, just do it. Like, you’ll figure it out.”

Lux: Like general kind of advice . . . ?

Jimena: Yeah, and I was like, “You’re not being so helpful.” But then I found a really good advisor. So that was really great. Once I found her, I feel like I was able to let go of being so controlling, if you will, about what I was doing and when I needed to be doing it because I felt like I had more guidance and more support from somebody that actually knew.

Lux: Yeah!

Jimena: This is, like, their literal job, you know. I felt like I was able to ease up a little bit more.

Lux: Yeah, it’s almost like hyper-vigilance because you don’t want to miss anything that is important, right? And like, that has to just fill you with anxiety, too, constantly searching, like, “Am I missing something?”

Jimena: Yes, and as someone that’s a little anxious sometimes, I was like, “Am I doing the right thing?” I’m like the type to triple-check everything.

Lux: Same, yeah. When you met with that first advisor, what was that like? How does that process work? Do you get assigned an advisor?

Jimena: From what I remember? Not really.

Lux: Okay.

Jimena: Because I started at the U with the BME major–the biomedical engineering–and I just got sent an email during orientation, like, “Hey, meet with your major advisor.” So I was like, “Okay, well, my major is biomedical engineering.” That’s all I got. So what did I do? I opened up Google, looked up biomedical engineering, found their website, looked for the advising tab, clicked on it, and then it showed all the undergrad advisors. And quite honestly, I was like, “This person seems like the nicest,” clicked the schedule button, and I scheduled it. That’s how it goes. I don’t remember getting an email, “Hey, I’m your advisor. Nice to meet you. This is where my office is.” No, none of that.

Lux: So you have to go out and seek it on your own. They’re there, but they’re not reaching out to you first. That’s really interesting.

Jimena: Granted–and this could have changed–it was also maybe because it was during COVID. I really don’t know. But that was just kind of my experience of trying to find an advisor.

Lux: Yeah, that sounds rough, to say the least.

Jimena: Yes, I remember I was just like, “She didn’t really help me. What do I do?”

Lux: What did you do after that, when you were told just to look at the class schedule?

Jimena: After that, I think I looked at my degree audit. And everything was red, obviously, because I hadn’t taken any classes, and so I just remember picking gen ed classes, because, in my mind I’m like, “That’s the safe bet. I know I have to do these at one point or another.” So, that’s essentially what I did. And then I was able to figure out on the course catalog, like the little codes at the end of the class where you click on class details, like DF or DV, like the diversity credit–or I don’t know if they still call it that, I have no idea–would coincide with the degree audit. So I was able to put two and two together, like, “Oh, well, this class would count for this or the fine arts credit,” like the class would have the code FF, and I was like, “Oh, well, obviously, this class is for here.” So that’s how I did it my first year. And I remember I was so scared I did it wrong. But after I was able to kind of figure it out, I emailed the advisor. And I was like, “Hey, does this look right?” They emailed me back, said yes. And then, yeah, figuring out the enrollment process, like adding the classes was also really hard. I don’t remember how I figured it out. All I know is that now I know.

Lux: [Laughs]

Jimena: But I remember I did struggle with it because I was like, “What am I doing? I have no idea.” But eventually, I was able to enroll in my classes. That’s all I remember. What did I use? No idea.

Lux: [Laughs] It’s all buried memory, because it was so traumatic. I’m kidding.

Jimena: Well, kind of. I was like, stressing. I was like, “Am I gonna have enough time to enroll? I don’t know.”

Lux: No, for real. And was this at the time when they were giving you a set date and time to register?

Jimena: Yes

Lux:  Okay, so that’s challenging, too.

Jimena: I got freshman priority. I was like, “I want to make sure I have all my classes by that day, so I can just finish enrolling.” I just remember struggling to figure out how to even add my classes. Yeah, like a schedule.

Lux: They don’t make that easy. And there’s no guidance online, like no tutorial or anything.

Jimena: And I’m sure maybe they go over that during orientation. But again, I did not have an orientation. So I know now for orientation day, they also do drop-in advising where you can go and stop by to talk to advisors. I didn’t get that. So yeah, it was interesting.

Lux: Yeah, during COVID times, there were a lot of on-the-fly solutions to stuff that we came up with. And some of it was just made worse because of the existing bureaucracies, to be honest. As far as your experiences in classes, getting to know faculty members, have they been able to point you toward resources or services that have been helpful?

Jimena: Not really. Yeah, not really. I don’t think I had the best experience with some professors. Just because sometimes I feel like they forget that this is my first time learning their material. And this is like breathing to them, right? Like it is something that they’ve taught for maybe sometimes years. So I feel like, especially once I was back on campus taking in-person classes, if anything, that just deterred me. It was very off-putting. I didn’t, after that, really feel the need to talk to a lot of professors, unless it was office hours. And it was just like, “Hey, I just have a question about this.” They would answer it, and I would leave. But yeah, not necessarily.

Lux: Like not a lot of close-knit kinds of relationships. That’s such a huge bummer. You can’t even predict based on your major. It’s so reliant on the individual student and the individual faculty member. It is not easy to navigate that stuff.

Jimena: Oh yes, I agree.

Lux: And kind of like related to that, do you remember if any of your faculty, um, mentioned being first-gen themselves?

Jimena: No, definitely not. If not, I think I would remember, but no.

Lux: That’s so wild. If I were in that position, I would be like, “Hey everybody, just so you know…“ just as a way to express solidarity, you know, I get it.” 

Jimena: Especially the first weeks of the semester. I do remember all the professors would do a little–maybe like 10 minutes into class–they would do a little get-to-know-me or get-to-know-your-professor. They all talked about their kids, their life, their research, which is great, but I don’t ever remember any of them mentioning things like, “I’m first-gen,” and I’m sure some of them were.

Lux: Guaranteed, yeah.

Jimena: They just never mentioned it. So I . . . I wouldn’t know. That would be super helpful, I think.

Lux: I think so, too, yeah. Just having a real-life first-gen graduate in front of you, who has been through the whole process and now is part of academia. Yeah, that’s something that’s worth exploring, I think. So we talked a little bit about this earlier, about having folks who you can turn to for encouragement or even just emotional support. So I was wondering if you had any mentors, or even unofficial mentors, outside of the First-Gen Scholars realm, or people like a faculty member or a family member. Who was the standout support person for you?

Jimena: Not anyone that comes to mind in particular. Again, at this time, I would have a really hard time asking for help and support because I didn’t want people to know that I was struggling, you know? So I wouldn’t say so, not necessarily. The closest I can think of is my parents. I remember I would get home and I’m like, “Gosh, I had a long day.” And they’re like, “Mija, echale ganas.” Like “Keep going. You can do it. You can do it. You’re fine.” But it was also hard for them to relate at times. So, yeah, I wouldn’t say I necessarily had a mentor that I looked up to, but I had people around me that understood, especially, you know, Xochitl, at the time, [and]  the individual that I was a manager with or like co-managing with. So they were students, you know. They understood. So it was nice to be like, “Damn, finals are coming up. This sucks,” you know? So it was a lot like that. I don’t think I had a lot of like role models, if you will, or like mentors probably up until like my senior year when I met Joana [Acevedo Ramirez], and I know you met her.

Lux: Yes, we did an interview with Joana! Can you talk a little bit about what your relationship with Joana is like?

Jimena: Yes, it was really great. I feel like me and her related due to the fact that she was first-gen. We also had very similar upbringings and family dynamics, and we got really close. And she graduated, you know, from the U. I think she did business or marketing. Yeah, marketing. So to me, it was just really great, just chatting with her and her understanding what I was going through, what I was feeling. She also was actually one of the persons that encouraged me to reach out to the counseling center, so it was just great. I just remember I would need anything, and I [was] like, “I don’t know what I’m doing. What do I do?” She would also review my resume and things. And then after I graduated, we actually became friends outside of that advisor-student dynamic. So now we’re really, really good friends, and we talk to each other all the time, yeah. 

Lux: I love that. There are so many incredible relationships that we can build during that college journey.

Jimena: Oh, a hundred percent.

Lux: It’s just wild. Some of my oldest friends I met in college. So it’s just kind of wild, having that person who understands where you’re at really and gets it. So this is kind of a shift. We’re going to talk a little bit about the demographics of the campus, specifically the racial, and ethnic, and socioeconomic makeup. All of that can have a huge impact on a student’s sense of belonging on campus. And we have a pretty homogeneous campus as far as, you know, reflecting the dominant culture of the state. So I was wondering what your experience with that was like, and if that impacted your sense of belonging at the U.

Jimena: Yeah, I think definitely my second year it did because, again, this was my first year on campus, and I still didn’t feel like I found my people, my community. Because again, I was in this weird [place], trying to find my footing within First-Gen [Scholars]. In my classes, I don’t feel like I saw a lot of other Latina girls so it was just a little off-putting. Cause I would hear all these other girls that don’t look like me, talking about things that I’m like, “I cannot relate to you.” Like you’re sitting here talking about horoscopes–which, hey, no, no shade–

Lux: Sure.

Jimena: And about your bag–your thousand dollar bag–and how, you know, your Range Rover’s having issues, whatever, right? And it’s like, “Dang, I’ve been using the same backpack since high school,” like little things like that, where I was just like, I feel like there’s just this level of disconnect. I was like, “I cannot relate to you and you cannot relate to me. We are so different, raised so differently, look at the world differently because, while you’re sitting here stressing about something so . . . I don’t know what to say. Like I don’t know–just something that really doesn’t matter as opposed to me. I’m figuring out and I’m worried about “Dang, if I don’t pass this class, I might lose my scholarship,” but you’re sitting here and just goofing off, shopping on your computer. So little things like that. It was just really hard to connect with people at times. They just– they just couldn’t relate. Like a lot of students that I would be in my classes with wouldn’t be first-gen. So a lot of them were like, “Oh yeah, my dad’s an engineer. What does your dad do?” And I’m like, “Well, my dad works in construction.” “Oh, my mom’s a lawyer.” “Well, my mom cleans houses.” So there was just this level that I was like, “This is not my place.” So that made it really hard. But then it was very easy, once I found my community in First-Gen [Scholars] because I felt like I could go there to that space, that physical space, and be like, “Okay, I can breathe here. I can be myself. And I can complain about the shitty car that I drive that’s kind of falling apart, but that’s all I have right now.” You know what I mean?

Lux: Oh, yeah, this is very relatable. I completely get that. Even just having room in your cup, you know, where your cup isn’t overflowing, but having that space, that kind of mental space to be focused on something like shopping versus “How am I going to make sure that I can stay in college?” It’s just such a mismatch in a lot of ways. And, yeah, it can feel like there’s nobody who gets you.

Jimena: Yeah, or like, I remember I was talking to someone and they’re like, “Well, why can’t you just go out?” And I’m like, “Well, I have to take care of my siblings. I have to help out with chores.” And to them, that was such a wild concept. And then they’re like, “What do you mean you have to work while you’re in school? That doesn’t make sense.” And I’m like, “Well, you know, I kind of have to. My parents can’t afford college,” you know?

Lux: Yeah, I can relate. My mom worked at McDonald’s for 17 years, and my dad was a teacher. So the same kind of deal where I was just like, “I don’t know how other people are doing it, but it’s not like how I’m doing it,” you know? I think “disconnected” is a great word for it. So we’re gonna shift directions again, but we are really close to wrapping up at this point. So just a few more questions. Based on your own experiences, if you could imagine support that you didn’t have, like resources or services, what do you wish had been available to you as a student?

Jimena: It was available at this time, but I feel like just more availability [at] the learning center. Especially with some of the STEM classes. I feel like anytime I would go to a tutoring session, I would just feel a little judged because I didn’t get the best tutor. So it was really off-putting to me. So I wish they would have a wider range of tutors and just more [tutors] because I know that would have really helped me as an undergrad student. I think I would say that. Any other resources that come to mind . . . probably honestly, like a cover letter/personal statement class or something, or an office that was dedicated to cover letters, personal statements, and resumes. Because the first time I wrote a personal statement, I was like, “Where do I even start? How am I supposed to essentially wrap myself up in a nice little gift and brag about myself, but not overdo it. To me, that was a really weird concept. I was like, “I don’t want to talk about myself.” But that’s what a whole personal statement is. The first few rounds of my resume were really rough. And like, I know, obviously I can go to the writing center or U Career Success, but they focus on so many other things. I wish there was just like one person on campus that I could go to, and they’re like, “Okay, this is how you do it. This is like a good structure.” Just little things like that. I would say that.

Lux: Yeah. I think that’s really important, too, because so much of the time you are in this position where you’re like, “Oh, now I’m writing a personal statement for this program, or I have to write one for a scholarship or a leadership role.” It’s so many different reasons that you could be in that position. But like you said, it is essentially like, all right, I have to not only summarize who I am, but kind of justify why I want to do this thing or be in this program within this very small word count, like a couple of pages. So yeah, that is so hard to do. It does take a lot of practice.

Jimena: Yes, and I wish there was something that was just for that, literally just their sole focus is that. And I understand there’s U career Success, but I feel like there’s too much on their plate that, you know, they can’t sit with each student and go step-by-step [through] all those things.

Lux: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So thinking about your entire experience as you were getting your bachelor’s degree, could you talk about a milestone or an accomplishment that you had that you’re particularly proud of?

Jimena: Yes, probably . . . there’s two: My capstone for my Health, Society, and Policy major. That capstone was so rough. The topic that they picked was wildfires, and we had to find a way to use that topic and relate it back to society as a whole, to health, but also to policy, and interconnect all three things and, essentially, come up with a plan to better each of those things, regarding wildfires. And we presented that in front of some faculty members, an individual from the board of Utah Health or something like that, and then the fire department.

Lux: Wow!

Jimena: I remember being so nervous because, essentially, they grill into your whole proposal of what you should do, why your plan is the best… So I remember just being so nervous, but I ended up passing–my group and me–we all got 100% on the assignment. And I remember feeling the biggest relief because I was like, “Oh my gosh, I passed the capstone!” And it was such a hard topic. We were like, “Wildfires? What?” But it was great.

Lux: That is so cool. I don’t want you to ever think it’s a small accomplishment. It’s not like, “I got this paper written.” No, that is huge. A capstone is massive.

Jimena: I was like, make-or-break-it if I was going to graduate or not.

Lux: Oh my God. No stress, right?

Jimena: And then the second thing, honestly, when I was like, “Wow, I made it.” This was when I was getting all my cords for graduation, and I was actually taking my graduation pictures and I was like, “I’ve come so far.” And it was just really nice, walking across the stage a few days later after my graduation pictures and seeing my parents get so excited. And it was just so fun. The biggest accomplishment that I did was walking across that stage. [Because] there was definitely a point during that whole transition during my undergrad that I was like, “I don’t think I’m going to make it.” I genuinely believed that. And looking back, I feel like if I didn’t have the support that I have, I don’t think I would have. I genuinely think I would have taken a leave of absence from college just because I was in a really, really, really, really bad place mentally. That was my biggest accomplishment was walking across that stage and saying, “Wow, I did that not only for myself, but for my family as well.”

Lux: Yeah. That is so huge. That really is. And especially like seeing yourself through all of these challenges, putting the cords on. That just made me emotional thinking about it.

Jimena: I know my eyes were getting a little watery because, putting on my graduation cap and everything, I was like, “Oh my God, I am doing this. I am going to walk across that stage and get my degrees.” Because I didn’t just get one. I got two. Oh my gosh, if you would have asked me that like a year or a few months [before] that moment, I would have been like, “Yeah, I’m not. I’m not doing it. I cannot. I can’t.” But I did it. And so I think that was probably my biggest accomplishment, especially when I think back to my whole undergrad journey.

Lux: You did it! And it’s such a surreal moment, isn’t it? You’re like, “Oh my God, I’m walking across this stage. I’ve done all of the hard work. Now I get to accept my degree.”

Jimena: And even now, when I go to my parents’ house, the first thing that you see when you walk into my house is my degrees. They’re literally right in the living room above one another because my parents, they’re like, “No, we want everyone to see them.” So every time I look at them, I’m like, “Dang, I did that. And I know I can keep doing things that are really, really hard that are going to push me to my limits, but I know I’ll be fine because they’re right there. So I know I can do it.”

Lux:  I love that so much. And that’s so cool that your parents feel so proud of you, too. That is the best feeling. So last question–and this one’s tricky–but what’s one final piece of wisdom or encouragement or advice that you would want to pass on to other first-gen students?

Jimena: That is tricky, but I think it’s also kind of easy because I wish somebody would have told me this: Speak up. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to things. If you don’t want to do something, eh, it’s fine. Don’t do it. You’ll be fine. And also if you want to do something, do it, ask questions, put yourself out there, and just don’t be afraid of who you are. But then also remembering, enjoying the moment, enjoying the process–and the only person that really matters is you because you’re doing it for yourself at the end of the day. That’s what I would say. Speak up. Don’t be scared. Don’t hold back. Don’t be scared to rub people the wrong way or upset someone. Don’t be scared. Just do it. Who cares?

Lux: Yeah!

Jimena: Because I remember I would always just be so scared. “Oh my God, what if I say something, and it upsets someone?” And I feel like that held me back for a long time. And then when I realized, “You know what, why am I doing that? I’m doing a disservice to myself.” That’s when I let loose. So that’s what I would say. Definitely don’t be scared to be yourself. Say what you have to, and just be proud of who you are, and how far you’ve come. Just because even the fact that students got into the U, that’s a big accomplishment within itself. So that’s what I would say. 

Lux: I think that’s really great advice. Thank you so much for talking with me.

Jimena: Of course. I really enjoyed it.